Relying only on willpower can often feel like a losing game. We beat ourselves up when our motivation fails, which makes it even harder to get back on track.
When you think of willpower, the first thing that probably comes to mind is dieting or fitness. People joke about not having the willpower to skip eating an extra brownie or finding the willpower to wake up early in the morning and hit the gym.
Of course, willpower is about more than health and fitness. It can include various areas of your life and any goals you might have. Shoring up the determination you need to do something (or not do something) could apply to anything from spending less money to drinking less wine to resisting the urge to procrastinate.
Thankfully, there are tactics that work better than willpower. They can help us effectively reach our goals and feel more empowered, without relying solely on our own strength and willpower. What are they? Let’s see:
7 Tactics that are Better than Willpower
Willpower relies on a relatively temporary emotional state of FEELING passionate about our goal. So what do we do when the feeling subsides?
1. Make a Plan
One of the best ways to accomplish your goals is to lay out a concrete plan to follow. It’s much harder to reach the things you truly want (or avoid the things you don’t) if you don’t have the “blueprints” on how to do so.
Make an outline for yourself, including how you plan on accomplishing your goals, steps you want to take, and timelines you want to follow. It can help you to feel more organized and confident, knowing that your goals are reachable and you now know exactly how you’re going to reach them.
2. Anticipate Problems - When Your Willpower is Weak or Plan Breaks Down
Even the best-laid plans run into snags sometimes. Don’t look at these issues as failures that cause you to quit. And certainly don't think that it is a personal flaw that created the snag. Remember, some of the greatest achievements in history came after someone experienced a failure and had to develop an alternative plan or work-around!
By anticipating problems, you can mentally prepare yourself for them so they don’t completely derail your goals or your motivation. This is when you can make room for mental flexibility and some creativity to devise a back-up plan.
Each hiccup along the way can be viewed as new pieces of information that you didn't have earlier, which you can learn from and help you devise a better plan for you and your circumstances.
3. Devise a Back-Up Plan
When problems do arise, because it is inevitable that they will, try to think about how you can work through them. This goes hand in hand with Tip 2, because when you anticipate problems, you can also start to anticipate a back-up plan that will make it easier to stay on track.
This is a great strategy to use that can help you to feel strong and energized as you continue on your journey toward your goal. You can outsmart your problems, and even do it ahead of time!
So, for example, what if your alarm didn't go off early as you planned and now you can't work out before work? How can you adjust? Can you shift your schedule to allow for exercise later in the day? Or perhaps make today your rest and recovery day, and make sure you work out on the day you previously planned to rest? If you beat yourself up for oversleeping, you will be much less likely to give yourself permission to creatively shift to an alternative.
4. Build Your Tribe of Support
Whenever you’re working on accomplishing a goal or dream, having the right support system is key. As stated above, there will be times when you stumble and things will feel like they’re not going right. A lack of "willpower" is part of being human, so know that there are plenty of others who understand and can help you.
A support system can give you the encouragement and confidence you need to keep going. Furthermore, if you find others who are working toward a similar goal, you can build each other up, hold each other accountable, and work together to reach your aspirations.
5. Get Back on Track
You’ve probably heard people say that they’ve “fallen off the wagon” before. Often, it’s associated with getting off track on a diet, or smoking, or drinking. But, you can get off track on your way toward any goal.
Don’t use it as an excuse to let the goal leave your sights. If you do fall off the wagon, get back on. Make every effort to get back on track as quickly as possible. This is where a great support system can help, as well as using your plan to remember what you’re supposed to be doing.
6. Monitor Self-Defeating Thoughts
People, in general, are often their own worst enemies. And this is certainly true for issues of willpower too.
You might have a little voice inside you telling you that your goals are unachievable, or saying things that might trigger you to go off track. While it may not be possible to completely avoid that kind of negative self-talk, you can choose how to respond.
When you’re aware of your thoughts and you monitor them closely, you put yourself more in control of handling them in a positive way. Don’t try to brush those thoughts under the rug. Accept them, counter them, and keep moving forward.
Instead of listening to that voice that says, "You screwed up! See, you can't do it, just accept defeat," consider thinking, "OK, this did not go as planned. What can I learn from it - what did my plan not account for?" or "Regardless of why I got off track, this goal is important to me and I deserve to be successful. I just need to forgive myself, regroup, and get back on track."
7. Ask for Help When You Need It
You don’t have to go through something that might feel like a struggle or a long journey alone. While a support system can help, it’s not uncommon to feel overwhelmed throughout the process.
If you’ve relied on willpower in the past to accomplish things, trying a different tactic can take some getting used to.
I’m here to help. Feel free to contact me for more information or if you have any questions about how these tactics can make a difference in reaching your goals.
Contact Me
If you want to discuss how to build skills that will support your goals better than relying on willpower, don’t hesitate to reach out!
I know how stressful and demanding it can be to make changes in your life, but you don’t have to figure it out on your own. Some of the benefits of individual therapy include:
- Having a safe, confidential space to work through life’s struggles
- Speaking openly with a highly-trained professional
- Learning to be curious about oneself and become more mindful about your choices
- Identifying relationship patterns that are helpful, or existing patterns that are interfering with your growth and wellbeing.
- I offer online therapy (video conference style of therapy), which provides an increased level of comfort as you could meet with me from the privacy and comfort of your own home or other location.
You can request a specific appointment time that fits your schedule. Once confirmed, you can complete all New Patient Intake paperwork online as well.
*** The tips offered in this article are for general information and should not be considered medical or psychological advice. For more personalized recommendations appropriate to your individual situation, please contact us or obtain professional guidance.
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