Overwhelmed & Running on Empty?
Do you need more coping skills? No matter how hard we try, there will always be times when life’s challenges seem to be more than we can manage. Life is hard, and will inevitably have ups and downs. Often the most stressful parts of life are those times when we can’t FIX the problem, and we just have to cope with it.
When the challenge in front of us is more than our internal resources can handle, we feel overwhelmed. It’s like our emotional bank account is overdrawn and in the red – too many withdrawals and not enough deposits!
Signs of stress and imbalance:
- Difficulty sleeping, or sleeping too much
- Loss of appetite, or stress eating
- Sad, irritable, or anxious feelings
- Difficulty concentrating, or obsessive thoughts about the problem
- Pulling back from others (isolating ourselves more)
- Arguing with others more
- Feeling more clingy or needy with family and friends
- Feeling more run down, noticing more aches and pains
- Increase in headaches and/or upset stomachs
- Desire to distract in unhealthy ways (numbing through excessive shopping, drinking, sex, gambling, or substance abuse)
If this describes you right now, then you may benefit from the following ideas to boost your mood by strengthening your internal resources (add a deposit to your emotional bank account). The situation may remain the same, but you can cope with it with less distress. These ideas are universal in that they apply to everyone. If you need more specific help for your individual situation, you can also contact me and learn how I can help.
Coping Skills
Certainly there is overlap when listing the types of coping skills, but in general we can make deposits in our emotional bank account by attending to our physical, mental, social, and spiritual needs. Each one serves its own function, but also bolsters the others. For example, making sure we are well rested helps us concentrate better and have energy to invest in hobbies, etc.
Physical Coping Skills
- Regular physical exercise.
- Balanced nutrition.
- Take prescribed medications and supplements regularly.
- Limiting alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, and other drugs.
- Exposure to bright light (outdoors), especially in the morning.
- Practice good sleep habits.
- Keep wake time consistent, even on weekends. Eventually bed time will also regulate.
- Reserve bed for only sleep (and sex). Not for watching tv, eating, etc
- Create dark, quiet, comfortable sleep environment.
- Get out of bed if unable to sleep within 20-30 min and do something soothing but a bit boring. Return to bed only when sleepy.
Mental Coping Skills
- Make time for recreation and hobbies
- Meditation & Mindfulness
- Take a class or webinar to learn something new or develop a skill/talent.
- Find activities that allow you to be “in the zone” and lose track of time – perhaps sports or hobbies.
- Practice positive thinking – our mind has a propensity to have a negative bias (to notice and remember negative or “threatening” data. We can retrain our brain to be more positive by noticing the good in our moment to moment experience.
- Gratitude practices – This is similar to positive thinking, but is more retrospective in nature. For example, develop a routine of reviewing your day or week and purposefully focus on what you are thankful for, including resiliency and getting through the difficult moments.
Social Coping Skills
- Stay connected with friends and positive people.
- Join a support group (live or online) to share ideas and tips.
- Get involved in organizations.
- Physically get out and be among people – even if it is just to walk around a park, or sit in a cafe or book store.
Spiritual Coping Skills
- Identify steps to find a purpose and create meaning in your life.
- Volunteer to work with those less fortunate.
- Engage in activities that help you connect with something more than you (formal church activities or personal habits and rituals).
If you aren’t sure how to develop coping skills or apply any of these ideas, or you think you may need more support, seek professional help.
Where can I seek help?
If you would like help in developing or implementing any of these ideas, reach out and seek professional help from your family physician, local support group, or an individual therapist.
