6 Tips for Coping with Uncertainty

We are living in uncertain times. While this is certainly uncomfortable, it’s normal to feel out of sorts and lack confidence in making decisions about the future. Additionally, it is human nature to do better when we have routines that we can rely on. If our routines get thrown off for any reason, then our foundation feels shaky, leading to a feeling of more uncertainty. 

Managing uncertainty is never an easy task. This becomes even more complicated if you have multiple layers of things change in your life that you have to face all at once. However, learning to manage uncertainty is possible. It is a skill that will help you cope better now, and with any future experiences in life that bring uncertainty. 

We are all currently dealing with a great deal of uncertainty in life due to the Coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic. The uncertainty of what will happen, when and how it will be over, and what life will look like in the future can feel overwhelming. Also, our routines and typical ways of living have changed. This can lead to a great deal of stress, frustration, and worry.

Here are a few tips to start managing feelings of uncertainty:

1. Have Patience With Yourself

The fear and stress of uncertainty is hard enough to handle. If you beat yourself up for struggling with uncertainty, believing that it should naturally come easily to you, then you have just doubled your difficulties. Try to be more gentle and kind to yourself by practicing self-compassion.

Be patient, acknowledge that this is hard for you AND with time you will learn to cope. Attacking or blaming yourself for struggling only serves to add to the struggle. Acceptance that you struggle with uncertainly, with compassion and positive self-encouragement, will help position you to better cope. 

2. Make Room For Uncertainty

Since we do not like unpredictability and uncertainty we often will tell ourselves that we cannot have it and must stick to what is safe. We might avoid taking risks, or we will "think ahead" in an attempt to foresee the future and prepare for problems. Of course, planning and thinking ahead can be helpful, but doing so with an intolerance of some uncertainty often leads to chronic worry and/or avoidance. Insistence on certainty often leads to an increase in doubt.

Consider "opening up" to uncertainty as part of the process of living, experiencing, and participating. "Make room" for the uncertainty as well as the feelings that may come along. Uncertainty is indeed impossible to avoid.

3. Remember Your Past Victories

As we make room for uncertainty, we may also draw upon on past experiences overcoming one of life's curve balls. Maybe you might notice times were you coped through a challenging, unexpected circumstance in life.

As you think back to other situations you have had, concentrate on the details of how you felt then (likely just as unsettled), but got through it and likely grew in confidence. Taking time out of your present fearful feelings to remember other similar experiences can help you change your self-talk from negative to positive, which is a great first step!

As you remember yourself coping with such circumstances, you will begin to better appreciate your capacity to cope and tolerate uncertainty. You will see that although you may not be able to have absolute certainty in life, you can appreciate your resiliency and coping ability.

4. Focus on What You CAN Influence

In life it’s important to understand that despite your best efforts, it is impossible to be in control of everything. Accepting that reality is important. Trying to be in control of everything actually makes people feel more anxious, as you are aiming for an impossible goal. It actually sets you up to feel like a failure - you may think "if only I had done X differently, this wouldn't have happened". But life has too many moving parts that we cannot control. 

Consider shifting your focus towards what you actually do have control or influence over - how you react to changing situations and uncertainty. You can decide how to treat people in your life, how you prioritize your time and energy, and how to act consistently with your values. For example, you can feel tired and irritable, but choose to still speak softly and kindly to your family members. Life will always throw curveballs our way that we can't predict or control, but we can choose how we will respond. 

You could even make two lists: "In this situation, what do I have control of or influence over?"; and, "in this situation, what are the things I have no control or influence over?" After making the list, you could lay out a plan of how you will address those things you have control of or influence over. The rest we "make room for" or accept as out of your hands and practice trusting in your ability to cope with those unknowns.

If you shift your mind to think about what you have influence over, you will naturally have increased self-confidence--you will feel empowered rather than helpless in the face of uncertainty.  

5. Stick to Routines & Self-Care

When you are feeling the stress of uncertainty, it is easy to let your self-care and personal routines fall by the way-side. It is often the first thing that drops off our priority list. We tell ourselves that it doesn't matter right now, but that's simply not true!

Although you may need to modify your routines, it is vital that you devote some time and energy to self-care. The strain of uncertainty is like another drain on your emotional and physical bank account. So you must make some deposits each day to help you manage this stress. It may seem like you don't have time for self-care, but neglecting yourself will only leave you LESS able to face the situation. Get enough rest, eat a heal

Stick to the basics of eating healthy, getting enough quality rest, keeping active, and staying connected with others. The familiarity of regular self-care routines can put you in a better place to manage the uncertainty of life. 

6. Reach Out for Help

It is human nature to want to be in control of our lives. Therefore, uncertainty triggers anxiety and maybe even shame. Everyone has their limits and need support from time to time. Know that you are not alone in feeling overwhelmed sometimes.

Taling with your friends or family may make you feel vulnerable, but will likely result in them sharing similar feelings with you! Even if they don't have "solutions" for you, it will help you feel less alone and can normalize what you are feeling.

Contact Me

If you need more help coping with uncertainty, don't hesitate to contact me today.

I know how stressful and demanding it can be to make changes in your life, but you don’t have to figure it out on your own.   Some of the benefits of individual therapy include:

• Having a safe, confidential space to work through life’s struggles
• Speaking openly with a highly-trained professional
• Learning to be curious about oneself and become more mindful about your choices
• Identifying relationship patterns that are helpful, or existing patterns that are interfering with your growth and wellbeing.
• I offer online therapy (video conference style of therapy), which provides an increased level of comfort as you could meet with me from the privacy and comfort of your own home or other location.

You can request a specific appointment time that fits your schedule. Once confirmed, you can complete all New Patient Intake paperwork online as well.

*** The tips offered in this article are for general information and should not be considered medical or psychological advice. For more personalized recommendations appropriate to your individual situation, please contact us or obtain professional guidance.

Related Articles

Life After COVID-19 - the New Normal?

Managing Your Changing Needs

7 Everyday Ways to Build Social Support & Make Friends

What to Do When Faith isn't Enough to Prevent Suffering

Social Media and Mental Health