September is National Suicide Awareness Month. None of us want to think about losing someone we love due to suicide. Unfortunately, it happens all too often. On average, one person commits suicide every 16.2 minutes. Two-thirds of the people who commit suicide suffer from depression.

The National Alliance On Mental Illness (NAMI) has designated September as National Suicide Awareness and Prevention Month.

“We use this month to reach out to those affected by suicide, raise awareness and connect individuals with suicidal ideation to treatment services. It is also important to ensure that individuals, friends and families have access to the resources they need to discuss suicide prevention. NAMI is here to help.” 

– National Alliance on Mental Illness Website

Sometimes there are clear signs to look for. A person who is thinking about committing suicide might feel hopeless or always sad. They might withdraw from relationships, give away prized possessions, or even threaten suicide multiple times.

But, there aren’t always obvious signs. Far too often, suicide seems to come suddenly, leaving loved ones behind to wonder what they could have done differently.

If there is a loved one in your life you’re worried about or someone you know who is suicidal, you can help. Keep these five things in mind to give them the help they truly need.

1. Take it Seriously

If you think someone is suicidal or they’ve been talking about harming themselves, don’t brush it off. Even if you think they aren’t serious, this isn’t an issue to be taken lightly. People typically don’t say such extreme things without at least a hint of sincerity.

So, if you notice any warning signs or if someone you love has talked about suicide, get involved immediately. Don’t wait for things to get worse, or until you can’t do anything about it. This doesn’t mean that you have to solve their problems or rescue them, but do show genuine interest and concern.

2. Ask Questions

There’s a common misconception that asking someone questions about suicide will push them into taking action. Actually, it can have the opposite effect. Of course, it’s important to be sensitive with your questions, but don’t be afraid to ask direct questions like:

• Have you thought about suicide before?
• Have you thought about hurting yourself?
• How are you dealing with things in your life?

Suicidal individuals might feel as though they have nowhere to turn or no one to talk to. Opening the door to a conversation can make a big difference for them in not feeling so alone.

3. Respect Their Feelings

Someone who is thinking about committing suicide isn’t thinking with pure rational logic. But, the emotions they’re feeling are very real. Don’t try to disregard those feelings or talk them out of their feelings.

Instead, show respect for what they’re feeling and acknowledge that you understand. If you don’t respect their feelings, they’re less likely to open up to you and have a conversation about it.

This can be as simple as saying,

• “I can tell you are really hurting and feel stuck.” or
• “This is certainly hard to talk about, and yet I am glad to listen so you aren’t alone with those thoughts.”

4. Offer Reassurance

It can be tempting to try and downplay their pain because the intensity is scary to us! But this can seem patronizing to someone who is considering suicide. Avoid saying things like “it could be worse” or “your life isn’t so bad.” If the solution to their pain was easy, they would have likely already done it.

Instead, offer reassurance that things can and will get better, with the right treatment and support. Let that person know you understand their feelings are real, but they don’t have to feel completely hopeless and helpless forever. It can get better.

5. Encourage Treatment

Someone thinking about suicide might be hesitant to seek out treatment or help. Or, they may just not have the energy or motivation to do it. Encourage them to call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 800-273-TALK if they need immediate help.

Additionally, encourage them to contact a mental health provider that can assist them on a more long-term basis. A counselor or therapist can help someone who is suicidal to make sense of their thoughts and to realize that things can change.

There are also support groups for people with suicidal thoughts or tendencies, as well as crisis centers for immediate help and attention.

Again, suicide is certainly nothing to take lightly, especially when the thoughts and tendencies are impacting someone you care about. If you’re worried about someone you love, be there for them, and support them in getting the help they need.