Stumbling blocks are a natural part of life. Some people struggle with mental health conditions like depression or anxiety that feel crippling at times. Others have to deal with the pain of a chronic condition or illness. Even sudden or unexpected life changes can cause you to stumble. Whether it’s a divorce, job loss, or the death of someone you love, there are likely going to be things that make you feel stunted or blocked from your original path.
Unfortunately, it’s far too easy to get lost in those difficulties. In an effort to understand how and why it has happened, it is easy to start viewing them as failures. When you look at those difficult things that way, those stumbling blocks can feel like boulders.
So, why not view them as stepping stones, instead?
What does that mean, exactly, and how can you grow from your difficulties instead of letting them hold you back?
Learn About Yourself
Think about the things that really “knock you down” in life. Do some things seem to hit harder than others? That’s usually because your emotions respond differently to various situations. You might consider it a stumbling block when a project isn’t “perfect” or when a friend doesn’t invite you to a get-together. Someone else in those same situations might not care at all.
Instead of considering those things harsh difficulties, think about what your responses say about you.
For example, if you feel like a failure when something isn’t perfect, your perfectionism could be causing you to develop unrealistic expectations. As a result, you’re more likely to be let down by little things.
If you have a hard time with rejection or struggle with the fear of missing out, take a look at your past. Have you been in unhealthy relationships or friendships before? What was your family life like? Many stumbling blocks come from deeper-issues. Understanding those problems and addressing them can help to make those difficult situations much easier.
Additionally, even if your struggle isn't due to a past "trauma" or a deep-rooted issue, our pain can often remind us of what matters to us most, and this can be quite helpful! Perhaps your sensitivity to being left out is more about placing a high value on interpersonal relationships, and that you work hard to make sure others feel included. So if you are left out of important activities, it goes against something you highly value. Is your frustration with in "imperfect" project about a fear of being criticized, or perhaps a desire to be seen as hard working and a valuable member of the team, or because you value striving for excellence no matter what others think about it?
Pause and consider what your current pain point might be alerting you to. It can be an opportunity to recalibrate your compass towards what matters to you most.
React in a Positive Way
You can’t control every situation in life. You also can’t control the initial wave of emotions you feel.
What you can control is the way you respond to those difficulties and emotions. When you recognize some of the things that cause you to stumble, try to change your negative reaction into a positive one. You can do that through things like:
- Positive self-talk
- Mindfulness
- Meditation
- Journaling
- Showing gratitude
It’s not always easy to control your response to things, especially when your emotions are fueling your reaction. But, the more you work at it, the easier it will be. Once you feel like you have more control over the initial emotions, you can start to look at those “stumbling blocks” as things that will help you grow. Then you can begin to shift your focus towards what you can learn from this experience.
Learn From Hardships
Some of the most successful people in history had to go through tremendous failures and hardships to reach their goals. Everyone from Walt Disney to Steve Jobs dealt with multiple setbacks and stumbling blocks in their careers.
If they would have given up, the world as we know it would be completely different. You don’t have to make a life-changing invention or become a millionaire to have a successful life. But, you should make it a priority to turn your “failures” into life lessons.
What might you learn? Well, is there a pattern to the stumbling blocks? Are there choices you are making that lead to the struggle? Or are you repeatedly the recipient of someone else's poor choices? Maybe time to change your friends or environment where possible, and learn to set strong assertive boundaries with others.
Sometimes our pain is not anyone's fault at all and is just the result of being mortal - we are imperfect human beings living in an imperfect world, subject to illness, accidents, etc. This type of stumbling block can be a hard humbling experience to remember that we are not in control of everything, and will have pain even when we are doing everything "right."
However, without hardships, you can’t grow. Instead of numbing yourself to difficult situations or withdrawing from the pain, think about how you can learn from it. Perhaps one thing you will learn is that you are more resilient than you feel. That you indeed honor the overwhelming feelings without letting that be the end of the story.
Contact Me
If you’re still struggling with stumbling blocks and you don’t see how you can grow from them, feel free to contact me. We’ll get to the bottom of why you might be having a hard time with such things, and work through how you can start climbing those “blocks” toward a better future.
If you want to know more about coping with life changes, feel free to contact us for information.
I know how stressful and demanding it can be to make changes in your life, but you don’t have to figure it out on your own. Some of the benefits of individual therapy include:
- Having a safe, confidential space to work through life’s struggles
- Speaking openly with a highly-trained professional
- Learning to be curious about oneself and become more mindful about your choices
- Identifying relationship patterns that are helpful, or existing patterns that are interfering with your growth and well-being.
- I offer online therapy (video conference style of therapy), which provides an increased level of comfort as you could meet with me from the privacy and comfort of your own home or other location.
You can request a specific appointment time that fits your schedule. Once confirmed, you can complete all New Patient Intake paperwork online as well.
*** The tips offered in this article are for general information and should not be considered medical or psychological advice. For more personalized recommendations appropriate to your individual situation, please contact us or obtain professional guidance.
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