Whether you think of it a good or an evil, social media is a large part of our lives in the 21st century. Most of us are on it more than we’d like to admit. So many social interactions happen through our screen these days. In some ways, this is a blessing: we can stay connected to friends and family anywhere in the world.
Social media, however, can be bad for our mental health, and understanding how to use it and when to set limits is so important for self-care. While it can be a great tool, it’s important to handle it responsibly.
Social Media as Avoidance?
Life can be overwhelming, and there’s nothing wrong with taking a break. We all need to unwind from time to time, and distractions can be healthy. Moderation, however, is key. When we spend all day logged into Facebook or Instagram to avoid a problem, it doesn’t go away.
If we avoid an issue instead of putting energy into trying to solve it, the problem will probably feel bigger and bigger—every time we look up from our phone, it’s still there. The only difference is that we’ve wasted time and energy. Our problems won’t go away until we face them, and that’s not going to happen over social media. It can be tempting each time we feel stressed to log back in because it’s so much easier than facing our worries, but this isn’t a healthy coping technique.
Immediate Gratification
Social media has its own timeline. Everything on our phone is pretty instantaneous, whether it’s sending a message, looking something up, calling someone across the world, or ordering food. All it takes it a few taps of our fingers: there’s no real work put in.
This can be great when we’re in a hurry, but when we spend too much time on social media, we can start to lose our ability to be patient. Whether it’s making up after a fight, fixing things around the house, getting along with our boss, or solving problems with our kids, most of life outside of social media and technology doesn’t happen within a few seconds. It can take hours, days or weeks/years to see progress and real solutions, and when we live on social media time, this can be frustrating.
When problems happen or uncomfortable situations come up, it’s important to know how to carry on despite our discomfort. We need to be able to work towards solving our problems, but our ability to do so requires patience and a tolerance of discomfort. Both of which is lacking in social media. When it comes to navigating the world, our skills need to be bigger than just using an Internet browser or phone app.
Skewed Perspectives
The more time we spend on social media, staring at people’s Instagram
personas, the harder it is to appreciate our own life. There’s nothing like checking up on old classmates or exes to feel unhappier about our lives. Even if the time we spend on social media is minimal, it can still impact our happiness. It’s easy to get into our heads when we’re staring at someone else’s Best Moments Highlights reel.
The more time we spend online, as well, the easier it is to get sucked into
arguments and negativity. Anyone who’s read a comment section knows this well. The Internet can be a wonderful way to connect, but it can also be an easy way to blame others or to try to tear strangers down. It’s easy to start feeling angry and powerless when we stay logged in for too long.
What to Do?
This doesn’t mean we need to delete all of our accounts and throw away our phones. It does mean, however, that we should be conscious of the time we spend online and whether it’s improving our happiness or if it’s just bogging it down. Always remember: balance is key. Try to reconnect with those friends in real life, get outside, and find ways to relax that don’t require a screen. The world is a big, wonderful place and as hard as it can get, it’s always worth putting down our phones, getting outside, and reengaging without the pressure to post photos.
If you’re struggling with how to implement any of these ideas, please feel free to contact me. We can work on a few different ideas, and help you develop more balance in setting your priorities in life.
Contact Me
I know how stressful and demanding it can be to make changes in your life, but you don’t have to figure it out on your own. Some of the benefits of individual therapy include:
- Having a safe, confidential space to work through life’s struggles
- Speaking openly with a highly-trained professional
- Learning to be curious about oneself and become more mindful about your choices
- Identifying relationship patterns that are helpful, or existing patterns that are interfering with your growth and well-being.
- I offer online therapy (video conference style of therapy), which provides increased level of comfort as you could meet with me from the privacy and comfort of your own home or other location.
You can request a specific appointment time that fits your schedule. Once confirmed, you can complete all New Patient Intake paperwork online as well.
*** The tips offered in this article are for general information and should not be considered medical or psychological advice. For more personalized recommendations appropriate to your individual situation, please contact us or obtain professional guidance.
