Dealing with self-esteem issues can be difficult. It can lead to a lack of confidence, hinder your relationships or career, and can even lead to other mental health issues like depression or anxiety.
Self-esteem doesn’t mean you ignore your rough edges or think you’re better than everyone, but it does give you a better basis for loving yourself. No matter how long you have struggled with lower self-esteem, you can start now to boost it.
So, if you struggle with low self-esteem, what can you do to improve it? Can you feel better about yourself by making a few changes in the way you think? Let’s look at a few tips you can start putting into practice right away.
1. Challenge Negative Self-Talk
If you regularly deal with negative thoughts about yourself, or there seems to be a little voice constantly nagging you that you aren’t good enough, it’s easy to feel low.
Negative self-talk can be incredibly damaging. The old saying about being your own worst enemy rings true for many people. So, it’s important to combat those negative thoughts as much as possible.
Recognize that they aren’t true, and try to replace them with positive thoughts/talk. When you recognize the negative self-talk instead of trying to ignore it, you’ll have a better chance of fighting it.
Although this is easier said than done, it is vital to pay attention to the conversation you have with yourself. Try to be curious about when/why you started speaking negatively to yourself. Perhaps you are treating yourself the way an important person in your life treated you, like a parent, teacher, or coach. Perhaps you believe that you have to beat yourself up to improve. If you can understand the context of these negative thoughts, you can start to shift them.
2. Focus On Yourself, Not Others
Comparing yourself to others is a great way to develop low self-esteem. That’s especially true in the social media culture we’re all in. It is human nature to "social reference" to get a gauge on where we stand compared to others. However, when we are struggling with low self-esteem, we almost always compare our perceived weaknesses with another person's strengths. Social media highlights this - people post their successes and accomplishments, not their piles of laundry and fussy kids.
The best thing you can do is focus on yourself. Think about your own accomplishments, achievements, and goals. Be happy for the things others have in their lives, but don’t compare your own to theirs.
3. Don’t Set Unrealistic Expectations
Many times, people with low self-esteem feel as though they have to be perfect. Setting unrealistic expectations for yourself will only set you up for failure.
Understand that you are human, and you’ll make mistakes. Choose to learn from those mistakes, rather than believing they define your worth. (Read more about Letting Go of Perfectionism, Self Compassion, and Forgiving Yourself)
4. Celebrate Small Victories to improve Self-Esttem
You might not realize it, but every day is filled with small victories. Choosing to celebrate those victories can make a big difference in how you feel.
Did you get up on time this morning? That’s a victory! Did you go to the gym or run outside? Victory! Did you get congratulated or praised for a job well done in the office? That’s another victory.
It’s easy to overlook these small things, but they add up quickly. Pay attention to the little “wins” in your everyday life, and you can quickly boost your esteem.
5. Do Things for Yourself
One way to increase your self-esteem is to spend more time doing what makes you happy. Self-care is an important part of life. It should be an important part of your regular routine, too.
Try to do at least one thing you really enjoy each day. That could include anything from cooking dinner to finding time to read at night. Doing things that make you feel good can make it easier to get rid of negative thoughts, and replace them with positive ones over time.
6. Have a Positive Support System for Better Self-Esteem
Far too often, people let the influence of others bring them down. If you are spending your time with negative individuals, consider the cost. Do they criticize you or critique you? Do they leave you feeling bad about yourself every time you spend time together?
Your time should be spent with people who lift you up and encourage you. When you listen to negative opinions from others, it’s easy to start believing them, yourself. Find the right support group to boost your esteem, and you’ll start to feel better about yourself in the process.
As you can see, it doesn’t have to be difficult to improve your self-esteem. It just takes a few simple changes that can be formed into habits. Keep these ideas in mind as you try to boost your self-esteem, and you might be surprised at how quickly your confidence grows.
Contact Me
If you’re struggling with self-esteem issues, please feel free to contact me. We can work on a few different ideas, and help you develop more insight into why taking care of yourself is so important
I know how stressful and demanding it can be to make changes in your life, but you don’t have to figure it out on your own. Some of the benefits of individual therapy include:
- Having a safe, confidential space to work through life’s struggles
- Speaking openly with a highly-trained professional
- Learning to be curious about oneself and become more mindful about your choices
- Identifying relationship patterns that are helpful, or existing patterns that are interfering with your growth and wellbeing.
- I offer online therapy (video conference style of therapy), which provides an increased level of comfort as you could meet with me from the privacy and comfort of your own home or other location.
You can request a specific appointment time that fits your schedule. Once confirmed, you can complete all New Patient Intake paperwork online as well.
*** The tips offered in this article are for general information and should not be considered medical or psychological advice. For more personalized recommendations appropriate to your individual situation, please contact us or obtain professional guidance.
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