You’ve likely heard about “the winter blues ” or Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). You probably know that many people are deeply affected by the shift from warmer weather to the dark days of winter. The change of seasons elicits emotions that make some feel inexplicably tired and persistently sad. The condition is real and even debilitating for some.
If your partner is one such person, the seasonal shift may be confusing and frustrating. Perhaps their inability to pinpoint their sadness and work through it has even become a point of contention.
Why SAD Isn’t Something They Can Just “Get Over”
Just because SAD comes and goes with the seasons, doesn’t mean it is any less serious a mental health concern. Like any other form of depression, SAD deserves to be acknowledged and treated. Unaddressed, it can lead to destructive thinking and relationship damage.
Your partner is experiencing a very real disruption in their mind and body. When the days shorten, the decreased amount of sunlight can cause a drop in the production of key hormones. Sleep regulating hormones like serotonin and melatonin can dip considerably, negatively affecting mood, sleep, and energy levels.
When these hormones dip, their body’s internal clock (or circadian rhythm) is altered too. You may notice your partner sleeping more, craving carb-laden comfort food, and resisting interaction.
How to Support the SAD Sufferer in Your Life
For months, your partner must try to cope with dark moods and depressive thoughts. They long for relief and understanding until springtime arrives with warmer, brighter days. You can only help if you have the information and preparation you need.
Consider several things below you can do to support them:
Learn More About SAD
Becoming more knowledgeable is often a good first step toward empathy and understanding. To effectively support your partner, learn what you can about SAD.
Get a clearer idea of the causes, symptoms, and how SAD specifically affects your partner. Do your research, but also include your partner in your examination of the situation. The more they understand, the better they can cope too. Ask questions about their experience and compare that to what you learn in a broader sense. Approaching SAD this way may help you both feel less controlled by the seasons.
Separate SAD-related Behavior from the Person You Love
When it’s cold and dark outside, you may want to cozy up with your partner. Or have long talks over cocoa. Or shop with them and enjoy the holidays. Only to be frustrated by their withdrawal and lack of motivation. The weather encourages you into closer contact, but they may resist your attempts to reach out.
Try to remember their internal battle. A sense of hopelessness and powerlessness makes depression hard to fight. It may be all they can do to sit with you on the couch for a movie or share meals. Let them know that you are there for them and try to remain patient. Praise their attempts to connect when they happen. Keep in mind that compassion from loved ones is vital for anyone battling depression.
Employ the Power of Positive Reinforcement
Gentle, respectful encouragement and positive reinforcement go a long way. If they are receptive to you, a simple invitation to go for a walk or drive can help interrupt rumination or withdrawal. You don’t want to nag or demand, just provide routine periods of connections and distraction that might help them manage their symptoms.
Depression is draining, thus, activities that are positive and active in short stints are likely to work best. For example, schedule an afternoon coffee date and simply encourage your partner to stick to the agenda. Use the time out to draw attention to surroundings and keep the conversation light. Thank them for spending time with you and let them know you look forward to another outing soon.
Commit to Being Their Therapy Champion
One of the most important ways you can support your partner is to encourage therapy. Your partner may think that this form of depression doesn’t warrant care. Yet, ultimately, any mental health condition that persistently gets in the way of an optimal life deserves attention. Let them know that their happiness should not be put on hold. Assure them that there is no shame in seeking help and that you’ll be their biggest supporter.
SAD is a form of depression, which often requires professional help. Seek help together to learn more about how to best address it.
Finally, consider therapy for yourself too. During the winter, you’re a caregiver as well as partner, reach out for the support and encouragement you need to stay strong and positive. With the right help, you and your partner can survive the winter months and build a closer bond. Let us help.
Contact Me
You’re certainly not alone if you or a loved one is dealing with SAD. Contact me today for more information about Seasonal Affective Disorder.
I know how stressful and demanding it can be to make changes in your life, but you don’t have to figure it out on your own. Some of the benefits of individual therapy include:
- Having a safe, confidential space to work through life’s struggles
- Speaking openly with a highly-trained professional
- Learning to be curious about oneself and become more mindful about your choices
- Identifying relationship patterns that are helpful, or existing patterns that are interfering with your growth and wellbeing.
- I offer online therapy (video conference style of therapy), which provides an increased level of comfort as you could meet with me from the privacy and comfort of your own home or other location.
You can request a specific appointment time that fits your schedule. Once confirmed, you can complete all New Patient Intake paperwork online as well.
*** The tips offered in this article are for general information and should not be considered medical or psychological advice. For more personalized recommendations appropriate to your individual situation, please contact us or obtain professional guidance.
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