There’s no denying that we live in a busy, hectic society that rarely slows down to take a pause. It’s easy to fall into the pressure “trap” of trying to always be “productive” or packing your schedule too full.
Unfortunately, that’s become the norm for far too many people. But, it can end up causing a lot of stress. That can quickly lead to feelings of anxiety or depression. It can also make you feel overwhelmed, burnt out, and not like yourself
While it’s often easier said than done to “slow down,” one thing you can do to improve your actions each day and to find some relaxation is to “practice the pause.
But, what does that mean, exactly?
What is Practicing the Pause?
A phrase coined by Lori Deschene, founder of the Tiny Buddha website, practice the pause means just what you think – stopping whatever you’re doing, even for a moment. The pause is designed to keep you from becoming overwhelmed or just stuck on autopilot.
When you’re too involved in something and haven’t taken a break, your stress levels go higher. You’re more likely to snap at someone, get distracted, or increase your risk of physical or mental health issues.
By practicing the pause and taking a deep breath, you’re giving your brain a step back, even if it’s just for a moment. That can completely change the way you look and feel about something, and help you to re-focus with purpose and less stress.
That’s the simplest form of pausing – stopping whatever you’re doing, taking a mindful breath, and continuing. But, it’s not the only way to practice the pause. There are plenty of effective techniques you can use. Try some of the following if you tend to get overwhelmed or stressed throughout the day.
Think Before You Answer a Question
When you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s easy to make snap judgments, or even answer questions in ways you otherwise wouldn’t. If someone is talking to you and asks a question, give yourself a conscious moment to think about your answer.
Pause. Think. Respond.
Even a few seconds of pondering your response might completely change what you say, and that can make a big difference.
Speak Slower
Have you ever noticed how fast people speak? You might even be guilty of it, yourself. It’s a learned behavior and sometimes might feel necessary in a world that is constantly on the go.
But, when you opt to speak a bit slower, you’re creating an atmosphere where people can fully take in your words. They will listen more closely and have an easier time understanding what you’re really trying to convey. So, talking slower isn’t wasting time. It’s ensuring that what you’re saying is being heard correctly the first time.
Pause Before Bad Habit
One of the great impacts of practicing the pause is moving on from bad habits (stress eating, smoking/drinking, impulse shopping, being impatient, snapping at others, etc).
We all have them, – things we’d like to change, or things we know aren’t good for us, but we have a hard time breaking away.
By practicing the pause before you partake in a bad habit, you can often talk yourself out of it. Bad habits are often triggered by stress. You do something familiar and comforting to alleviate that stress, even if it’s not good for you.
By pausing, you can focus on the underlying cause of your stress. Then you can opt to work on that cause and trigger, rather than throwing yourself into the habit. Or you can pause to re-orient towards your larger goals (being more healthy physically, having a deeper connection to others, saving for a special trip) that your bad habit will deter you from.
Practicing the pause is an easy and effective way to fight back against stress and to change your actions on a daily basis. Just like the phrase says, it does take practice. But, there’s no reason you can’t start trying it immediately. You might be surprised by how quickly you can notice a difference.
Do you need more help focusing on the present? The support of an experienced counselor can help you chart a new path. I’m here to help.
There’s no denying that we live in a busy, hectic society that rarely slows down to take a pause. It’s easy to fall into the pressure “trap” of trying to always be “productive” or packing your schedule too full.
Unfortunately, that’s become the norm for far too many people. But, it can end up causing a lot of stress. That can quickly lead to feelings of anxiety or depression. It can also make you feel overwhelmed, burnt out, and not like yourself
While it’s often easier said than done to “slow down,” one thing you can do to improve your actions each day and to find some relaxation is to “practice the pause.
But, what does that mean, exactly?
What is Practicing the Pause?
A phrase coined by Lori Deschene, founder of the Tiny Buddha website, practice the pause means just what you think – stopping whatever you’re doing, even for a moment. The pause is designed to keep you from becoming overwhelmed or just stuck on autopilot.
When you’re too involved in something and haven’t taken a break, your stress levels go higher. You’re more likely to snap at someone, get distracted, or increase your risk of physical or mental health issues.
By practicing the pause and taking a deep breath, you’re giving your brain a step back, even if it’s just for a moment. That can completely change the way you look and feel about something, and help you to re-focus with purpose and less stress.
That’s the simplest form of pausing – stopping whatever you’re doing, taking a mindful breath, and continuing. But, it’s not the only way to practice the pause. There are plenty of effective techniques you can use. Try some of the following if you tend to get overwhelmed or stressed throughout the day.
Think Before You Answer a Question
When you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s easy to make snap judgments, or even answer questions in ways you otherwise wouldn’t. If someone is talking to you and asks a question, give yourself a conscious moment to think about your answer.
Pause. Think. Respond.
Even a few seconds of pondering your response might completely change what you say, and that can make a big difference.
Speak Slower
Have you ever noticed how fast people speak? You might even be guilty of it, yourself. It’s a learned behavior and sometimes might feel necessary in a world that is constantly on the go.
But, when you opt to speak a bit slower, you’re creating an atmosphere where people can fully take in your words. They will listen more closely and have an easier time understanding what you’re really trying to convey. So, talking slower isn’t wasting time. It’s ensuring that what you’re saying is being heard correctly the first time.
Pause Before Bad Habit
One of the great impacts of practicing the pause is moving on from bad habits (stress eating, smoking/drinking, impulse shopping, being impatient, snapping at others, etc).
We all have them, – things we’d like to change, or things we know aren’t good for us, but we have a hard time breaking away.
By practicing the pause before you partake in a bad habit, you can often talk yourself out of it. Bad habits are often triggered by stress. You do something familiar and comforting to alleviate that stress, even if it’s not good for you.
By pausing, you can focus on the underlying cause of your stress. Then you can opt to work on that cause and trigger, rather than throwing yourself into the habit. Or you can pause to re-orient towards your larger goals (being more healthy physically, having a deeper connection to others, saving for a special trip) that your bad habit will deter you from.
Practicing the pause is an easy and effective way to fight back against stress and to change your actions on a daily basis. Just like the phrase says, it does take practice. But, there’s no reason you can’t start trying it immediately. You might be surprised by how quickly you can notice a difference.
Do you need more help focusing on the present? The support of an experienced counselor can help you chart a new path. I’m here to help.
In today's discussion with Madelyn Dobbins (Brake), LPC, we focus on issues faced by the young adult demographic. Younger Austinites Seek Therapy Often: Here's Why You Might Your late teens and twenties can be an exciting and overwhelming time all at once. You’re...
What Is Ecosystemic Family Therapy? Ecosystemic Family Therapy is a way of helping kids and teens by working with the people and environments that shape their lives. Instead of focusing only on the child, this approach brings in parents, schools, and other supports to...
We’re living in uncertain times. Our world often seems dark, dangerous, and difficult. Needless to say, it’s not always easy choose to be grateful and to find the positive amid negativity and conflict. But, gratitude can go a long way. There are still plenty of good...
To say we’re living in uncertain times would be an understatement. From pandemics and wars to social unrest and economic struggles, it seems no matter where you look there’s something to worry about that makes our future seem filled with uncertainty. So, it should...
Being out in nature is one of the best ways to destress and manage your mental health. Multiple studies have showcased the healing benefits of nature. It reduces stress, improves your mood, and can help with issues like depression and anxiety. If there was one...
What is compulsive shopping? It’s not uncommon to treat yourself to a shopping trip every now and then. You might even feel a burst of happiness when you make a purchase, or you’re able to get something you really want. The idea of ‘retail therapy’ is really something...
Body image is more than just body positivity and focusing on loving your appearance. An important part of body image goes much deeper. There’s nothing wrong with loving the way you look. When you see yourself in a mirror, you should be confident in your appearance and...
You’ve probably heard of getting burnt out by things like work or extra responsibilities. But, have you ever heard of emotional burnout? It’s more common than you might think and occurs when what's draining you is more than what you are “depositing” into your overall...
Most people have at least heard of popular book "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman, even if you’re not sure what all of them are. Love languages are most commonly used when it comes to dealing with your relationship, but did you know you can also link your love...
You’ve likely heard about “the winter blues ” or Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). You probably know that many people are deeply affected by the shift from warmer weather to the dark days of winter. The change of seasons elicits emotions that make some feel...
Many people think that making a change requires an instant decision, followed by instant action. But, change doesn’t have to happen “overnight”. Taking your time, slowing down, and thinking things through doesn’t make you lazy or unmotivated to make a change. Rather,...
It takes a lot of courage and empathy to forgive someone after they’ve hurt you. Sometimes, we also have to forgive ourselves for the times when we’ve made mistakes. Forgiving ourselves for our past mistakes is one of the most challenging things we can do. But there...
The holidays are supposed to be a time filled with joy, laughter, and excitement. But, if you’re experiencing a loss around any holiday, it’s difficult to feel that kind of joy that those around you might be sharing. Grief around the holidays isn’t uncommon....
Some people think of being assertive as the same as being aggressive. They might not want to “come off” a certain way, so they hold themselves back from speaking what’s really on their heart and mind. The reality? Assertiveness is often helpful. But, that doesn’t make...
There have been multiple studies to show the mental and physical health benefits of pets. It has even been found that simply being around a dog or petting it can boost your mood and make you feel better. That’s one reason why pet therapy has become so popular...
It is human nature and so easy to become offended. Someone may say something that rubs you the wrong way. Maybe what they say feels like an “attack” on something you’ve done or that you value. Sometimes it's necessary to evaluate your role in being offended. This is...
Writing in a journal is a great way to manage your anxiety. There are several positive aspects to journaling that can make coping with your fears easier. First, you can work out your fears on paper. You’ll learn why you might jump to conclusions and which things...
Everyone has areas of struggle when it comes to balanced thinking. It is so common that you may not even recognize it as a thinking error at all! Consider whether any of the following common thinking errors sound familiar, so that you can lessen the impact they have...
Stumbling blocks are a natural part of life. Some people struggle with mental health conditions like depression or anxiety that feel crippling at times. Others have to deal with the pain of a chronic condition or illness. Even sudden or unexpected life changes can...
It’s not uncommon to have a hard time making certain decisions. Some people struggle with it more than others. But, "analysis paralysis" takes that to extremes. Analysis paralysis occurs when your underlying anxiety makes it impossible to make a decision....
