Perfectionism might sound like a positive trait on paper. After all, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to do or be your best, right? Unfortunately, true perfectionism goes far beyond that.
You know that executing anything perfectly all of the time is simply impossible. Therefore, if it’s the standard you live by, you could find yourself overly stressed, overwhelmed, and anxious.
So, again, while it is perfectly fine to consistently strive to do your best, there is an unhealthy difference in your mindset when doing your best becomes a need to be perfect.
With that in mind, let’s look at five reasons you should let go of perfectionism and find more peace in your everyday decisions and performance.
1. Perfectionism Is Impossible to Achieve
Acceptance is the first step to living a less anxious life. As stated above, perfection is impossible. It is an ideal worth aiming for, but not expect yourself to actually fulfill. You may be able to get close in certain areas, but as long as you’re a human, it’s something that simply can’t be achieved. That is why the phrase “human error” comes into play so frequently.
When you set yourself up to do the impossible and can’t achieve it, you’re also setting yourself up for extra stress and anxiety. This often leads to wasted energy and self-esteem issues.
2. Perfectionism Can Cause Insecurities
Because perfection is impossible, it means you will fall short of your own high expectations. That can lead to self-doubt and insecurities.
In fact, you can easily become less confident as a perfectionist, because you will likely never be able to live up to your own standards. This is especially the case if you believe that others expect perfection from you too.
3. Perfectionism Prevents Real Connection
Another aspect in which perfectionism can impact your self-esteem is in how you connect with others. Your insecurities might cause you to believe you need to be perfect in order to be accepted by people.
On the other hand, you might reject others due to their own imperfections. Because no one is perfect, that can cause you to lose or damage relationships quickly.
4. Perfectionism Prohibits Learning
Some of the most successful people in history had giant failures throughout their lives, including Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, and Oprah Winfrey.
Obviously, those are names that still resonate with most people, and there is a reason why: They didn’t give up because they weren’t perfect.
In fact, they (and many others) took the opportunity to learn from their failures. Not being perfect can be a great learning tool, and push you to reach your goals.
When you strive for perfection and don’t reach it, you’re more likely to be upset about it and give up, rather than learn from it and keep going. Giving up doesn’t give you the opportunity to learn anything new or grow from those mistakes. Take a look at almost any inventor and the things they created. No one gets it “perfect” on the first try, and you shouldn’t expect to either.
5. Perfectionism Just Isn’t Sustainable
In addition to being hard on your emotions and your overall wellbeing, perfectionism isn’t a sustainable way to live. Because you will never achieve the standards you set for yourself, you might start to struggle with anxious thoughts or even depression.
Those mental health conditions will push you even further away from the goals you might want to achieve. It can start a vicious cycle that is not only emotionally taxing but can start to feel debilitating.
Contact Me
Do you struggle with perfectionism? Do you hold yourself to a standard that isn’t attainable, or feel as though others won’t value you unless you’re perfect?
If that sounds like you and it’s starting to affect the way you live your life, feel free to contact me. Together, we can talk more about the issues associated with perfectionism. When you let it go, you’ll find freedom, peace, and the ability to live your life without the constant worry that you’re not enough.
I know how stressful and demanding it can be to make changes in your life, but you don’t have to figure it out on your own. Some of the benefits of individual therapy include:
- Having a safe, confidential space to work through life’s struggles
- Speaking openly with a highly-trained professional
- Learning to be curious about oneself and become more mindful about your choices
- Identifying relationship patterns that are helpful, or existing patterns that are interfering with your growth and wellbeing.
- I offer online therapy (video conference style of therapy), which provides increased level of comfort as you could meet with me from the privacy and comfort of your own home or other location.
You can request a specific appointment time that fits your schedule. Once confirmed, you can complete all New Patient Intake paperwork online as well.
*** The tips offered in this article are for general information and should not be considered medical or psychological advice. For more personalized recommendations appropriate to your individual situation, please contact us or obtain professional guidance.
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I frequently fall prey to the lure of perfectionism then fret and fume trying to keep up with the standards I’ve set for my self, which are impossible. I’ve learned over the years, and obviously have to keep relearning, that my best is good enough. I’m always amazed when I look at something I’ve accomplished that in my mind isn’t perfect but I reached my goal anyway!