The year ahead needs a different kind of New Year’s Resolution. After the year we’ve had, plans to work out more and eat less are helpful, but might be superseded by resolutions more centered on our emotional health.
Consider what we’ve endured!
Separately and collectively, we’ve persisted through a year that will forever be remembered as the infamous “2020”. The pandemic, financial fears, political protests, and election season have challenged us and reminded us to count our blessings. Many of these experiences we unimaginable when we set our intentions a year ago.
So, if hindsight is “20/20”, let’s use our shared experiences to employ the wisdom gained. Our tumultuous year isn’t just a memory to shelve. 2020 is a reminder to ensure we are kinder to ourselves and more considerate of each other going forward.
What should we resolve? The following commitments might be a good start:
- Compassion for ourselves when we mess up.
- Patience with ourselves and our children who are struggling to figure out a weird academic year.
- Tolerance for others who look, think, believe, voted, or love differently than we do.
- Passion to right injustices that we come across in our daily lives.
As we’ve stuck close to home these many months, we know that we may not be able to change our state or country on the whole. But most of us can see our own homes, families, and neighborhoods with a bit more clarity. Thus, it makes sense that our new resolutions address the needs of our inner selves and those inside our circle. When we plant seeds there, our greater communities can only benefit and bloom.
So, what would executing your resolution look like?
To set and successfully reach your New Year’s goal is as much a matter of measurable achievement as it is a matter of big picture vision.
How can we create measurable goals as that support our mental/emotional health?
Break down big concepts first. Ask yourself how you can break down your aims into measurable/observable goals. For example, you can set about achieving your weight loss goals with a daily objective like, “I’m going to work out for 45 minutes a day for at least 4 days every week.” Before you know it, you feel better, habits are established, and the weight is no longer an immovable obstacle.
The same principle applies to the emotional burdens you want to shed and the healthy emotional muscles you want to build. Make your vision manageable by scaling down the pressure of big changes.
- Let’s say you want to be more compassionate towards yourself. What does that look and sound like?
Perhaps you’ve heard that self-talk is essential for cultivating a kinder relationship with yourself. If that’s the case, perhaps you could break down the goal by challenging your mirror every morning. If you start the day with an “ugh” or otherwise unkind thought or inner critique of your face, body, or abilities, the bathroom mirror is a good starting place.
Put a word of encouragement there or repeat a loving prayer or mantra every morning. Speak praises and smile. Acknowledge your own presence and imperfections. Appreciate your own willingness to tackle another day, no matter what.
- Perhaps being more patient with your children really resonates as New Year’s goal. What does being patient feel like to you? How do you want your children to hear and see you?
In this case, your observable smaller objectives will be both internal and interactive. You might start with a commitment to pause first, followed up with a pledge to keep your voice calm and even. Practically, this might look like an intentional, 10 second period of deep breathing when misbehavior occurs. Then, you can finish up with a quiet, controlled interaction.
- Does a heartfelt desire for more tolerance towards others feel very important right now? What are you willing to do to foster a more open mind?
Perhaps, something as simple as spending 30 minutes a week reading an article or listening to a TedTalk might be wise. Consider listening to one by a person with a view that challenges your own. This might be a manageable way to start hearing and tolerating others without shutting down or feeling defensive.
- Passion can be a hard thing to cultivate when you’re worn down by a year of pandemic anxiety. What measurable steps can you take routinely to support or bring awareness a meaningful cause?
A favorable option might be to budget $25 a month to donate to a charity you feel strongly about. Alternatively, you could donate your time volunteering for such a cause, such as a couple hours a week. When you do so, share your goal and progress with family, friends, and neighbors. In a small, but purposeful, way you can fan the flames of your passion. Furthermore, the dialogue you open may fuel a heart for the cause in someone else.
Take On the New Year As Healthy & Whole as Possible
Finally, 2020 is coming to a close. If you feel you could use a bit of help shaping your thoughts and goals, you aren’t alone. As hope and promise rise again, give yourself the gifts of guidance and support.
Sessions with a therapist can be an important way to reflect and plan ahead.
I know how stressful and demanding it can be to make changes in your life, but you don’t have to figure it out on your own. Some of the benefits of individual therapy include:
- Having a safe, confidential space to work through life’s struggles
- Speaking openly with a highly-trained professional
- Learning to be curious about oneself and become more mindful about your choices
- Identifying relationship patterns that are helpful, or existing patterns that are interfering with your growth and wellbeing.
- I offer online therapy (video conference style of therapy), which provides an increased level of comfort as you could meet with me from the privacy and comfort of your own home or other location.
You can request a specific appointment time that fits your schedule. Once confirmed, you can complete all New Patient Intake paperwork online as well.
*** The tips offered in this article are for general information and should not be considered medical or psychological advice. For more personalized recommendations appropriate to your individual situation, please contact us or obtain professional guidance.
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