When you’re diagnosed with a chronic illness, almost every aspect of your life seems to be affected. Many adjustments must be made and it will take time to develop your sense of a “new normal.”
That doesn’t mean your quality of life has to be less than it was before, but it definitely will be different. This is not an easy shift to make.
A big part of developing a new normal is accepting that yes, you have an illness, but that it needn’t keep you from living a fulfilled life.
So, how can you create your best life for yourself while coping with a chronic illness? Let’s look at a few tips you can put in place.
Grieve
Every new beginning requires something else to end. As you work to redefine your new normal, it absolutely means grieving what has changed. Whether this is a small change or a significant one, you deserve to honor your grief reaction. You may feel sad, angry, resentful, lonely, and a variety of reactions.
Your grief can get triggered each time you bump up against another part of your life that must be adjusted due to your illness or flare up. A part of you will likely keep remembering what it used to be like when you had more energy or less limitations. If you try to stuff these feelings and put on a brave face, you may make things harder for yourself.
Don’t Be Ashamed of Your Illness
Many people with chronic illnesses try to play the blame game – with themselves. They feel as though they could have done more to prevent it, or they’re not doing enough to fight it.
The first thing you need to do in order to adjust to your new life is to stop playing the blame game. Illnesses occur for a variety of reasons, and you didn’t cause it. Blaming yourself or holding onto guilt will only cause you to be more stressed. When that happens, it can exacerbate some of your symptoms, making you feel even worse.
If someone you love had the same illness you do, how would you treat them? Chances are, you would be patient and compassionate. So, make sure you’re doing the same for yourself.
You Are Not Your Illness
You might need to change some things about your life if you have a chronic illness. Maybe you aren’t able to do everything you used to. Or, maybe you don’t always feel as good as you want to feel.
But, it’s important to separate your life from your illness. Your illness doesn’t define the sum total of who you are. It’s simply one part of you. By focusing on everything else in your life that hasn’t changed, you are giving less power to the illness itself, which can make you feel stronger and more motivated to keep living life the way you want to.
Manage Your Expectations
There’s nothing worse than getting your hopes up for something, only to be let down. In terms of having a chronic illness, that could mean trying a treatment that didn’t work the way you expected. Or, wanting to do something that your illness limited. Unexpected flare ups can mean having to adjust or cancel plans last minute that you had looked forward to.
Managing your expectations is hugely important when you have a chronic illness. Setbacks will happen. You won’t always achieve the things you may want. The best thing you can do is to let go of those old expectations entirely. You have different energy levels, stamina, finances, and priorities now. While you probably won't be able to do everything just as you did before, if you can adjust your expectations to accurately reflect your present situation and resources, you will be less disappointed in the long run.
Find a Support System
Perhaps the best thing you can do to cope with a chronic illness is to surround yourself with people who support you. Family members and friends can help to lift you up when you’re feeling overwhelmed about your illness.
They can also help you to do things your illness might prevent you from doing, so your quality of life doesn’t have to change so drastically.
Connecting with a local support group will help you share struggles with others who are in a similar situation and learn how they cope.
You’re bound to have different moods throughout the phases of your illness as you try to develop your new “normal.” It’s okay to let people be there for you in order to support you throughout those phases. If you don’t have family members or friends who are willing to do it, seeking out the help of a therapist or counselor can make a big difference.
Contact Me
If you’re dealing with a chronic illness and you’re having a hard time developing a new sense of normalcy, feel free to reach out to me for help. We can talk more about how to get your life back, and how to cope with this new reality.
I know how stressful and demanding it can be to make changes in your life, but you don’t have to figure it out on your own. Some of the benefits of individual therapy include:
- Having a safe, confidential space to work through life’s struggles
- Speaking openly with a highly-trained professional
- Learning to be curious about oneself and become more mindful about your choices
- Identifying relationship patterns that are helpful, or existing patterns that are interfering with your growth and well-being.
- I offer online therapy (video conference style of therapy), which provides increased level of comfort as you could meet with me from the privacy and comfort of your own home or other location.
You can request a specific appointment time that fits your schedule. Once confirmed, you can complete all New Patient Intake paperwork online as well.
*** The tips offered in this article are for general information and should not be considered medical or psychological advice. For more personalized recommendations appropriate to your individual situation, please contact us or obtain professional guidance.
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