Everyone has negative thoughts from time to time. That’s completely normal, and in most cases, they’ll go away on their own.  But, if you find that you’re consistently struggling with negative thinking, it can start to bring you down. Negative self-talk can be a huge blow to your self-esteem and confidence. Constant negative thoughts can also lead to feelings of anxiety or depression.

So, what can you do to overcome negative thinking and take control of your thought patterns again? Let’s look at a few practical solutions.

1. Dedicate Time to Those Negative Thoughts

One of the problems with negative thinking is that it can quickly take over your entire day. Instead of trying to push those thoughts away whenever they come up, try a technique called “time binding” to actually dedicate a specific time to them every day.  During that chosen time, you can examine those thoughts to see if they have any distortions (like all or none thinking, jumping to conclusions, selective attention, etc), or just make room for them without any efforts to change them.

Give yourself 10 minutes, either in the morning or early evening (no later than about 2 hours before you go to bed), to really ruminate over those thoughts. This may sound counter-intuitive, but by limiting your “worry time” each day, you learn how to not react with urgency each time a worried thought shows up. If one comes up during the day, write it down, knowing you’ll get to it later. Also, if it’s the same thought you have already examined recently, then you can reassure yourself that no new “evidence or data” has come up, so you don’t need to devote more time to that repeating worry. If it is a new worry, then you can remind yourself that not a day will go by without devoting time to examine it thoroughly, but that you have other things to manage and attend to right now.

This technique keeps you in control. It allows you to work through those thoughts and what they really mean on your own time, while also learning from daily experience that you can delay this examination for a few hours without anything horrible happening. Over time, this drains the urgency out of negative thoughts.

2. Get to the Root of the Negative Thoughts

If you truly want to get rid of negative thoughts, you have to look at patterns and underlying causes. Think about why that thought is present. When did it start? What have you done to fuel it? Is there a pattern to the type of negative thoughts you have?

While there may be some validity to the negative thought, most of us distort or exaggerate the importance of negative thoughts without realizing it. This is the whole basis behind CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), and has been researched as an effective treatment for a wide variety of negative thoughts and associated troubles (anxiety, depression, relationship problems, etc).

Considering these things (or writing them down) can make it easier to process those thoughts and work through them, so you can eventually move forward.

3. Actively Pursue Positive Things

Negative thoughts will continuously try to bring you down. This is totally normal! Our minds are hard wired to pay attention to negative thoughts and signs of potential danger than to positive “all is well” thoughts and experiences. So, when you feel one starting to take hold, actively do and/or say something positive. For example, you might say something like, “I love how sunny it is today”, or “this breakfast tastes amazing!”.  You might choose to clean out that kitchen junk drawer to feel a sense of accomplishment, or go for a drive and purposefully take notice of the beautiful scenery.

It doesn’t have to be a big declaration or action. Rather, it serves as something positive to focus on long enough for the negative thought to lose some of its power. (You may be interested in Cultivating Laughter in Difficult Times)

4. Be Careful What Your Mind “Consumes”

Just as it’s important to pay attention to what you nutritionally consume when trying to improve your physical health, it’s important to ponder what you are taking into your head space. It’s no secret that we’re living in uncertain times. Between pandemics, politics, and everything in between, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. If you find that your negative thoughts are fueled by things like watching the news or spending too much time on social media, take a step back.

You don’t need to avoid reality or what’s going on in the world. But, don’t spend all of your time “ingesting” the things that deplete your mood and make your negative thoughts even worse.

5. Embrace Gratitude

There is almost nothing in the world that will make you feel better than gratitude. Negative thoughts will want you to focus on the things you don’t have or the failures in your life.

Gratitude flips that on its head. Everyone has something to be grateful for, so make it a priority in your life to think about those things as often as possible. Every time a new grateful thought enters your mind, write it down. Having a long list of things to be grateful for can help you when you’re struggling with negativity. (If you are interested in learning about why gratitude practices are important, and developing more positive thoughts and gratitude in your life, check out this blog and this blog).

6. Be Mindful

Negative thoughts often cause things from the past to surface in your mind. Or, they might make you worried about something that could happen in the future.

One way to manage those thoughts is to be more mindful. Practicing mindfulness each day gives you an opportunity to focus on the present moment, and nothing else. Close your eyes, and focus solely on your breathing. Think about how you feel in that moment. Thoughts will continue to come in, but don’t hang onto them. For just a few minutes, remain fully present. You might be surprised at just how effective this practice can be. (Learn more here).

7. Utilize Daily Affirmations to Prevent Negative Thoughts

Don’t let negativity get the best of you first thing in the morning. Develop a routine that includes daily positive affirmations right when you wake up. Commit to saying five positive things about yourself or your situation in the mirror before you officially start your day.

It’s a very small thing, but it can make a big difference in your attitude, and it will give you a confidence boost to make it easier to fight back against negativity.

Contact Me

If you’re struggling with self-esteem issues, please feel free to contact me. We can work on a few different ideas, and help you develop more insight into why taking care of yourself is so important.