Moving on after a breakup isn’t easy. It’s about more than just forgetting the past or letting go of the relationship.
Yet, knowing exactly how to get past a relationship once it’s over is important for your overall emotional health.
You may think you’ve already moved on from your relationship. But, if you’re still living with obsessive thoughts of that relationship or the person you were with, you may be hung up.
The goal is not to try and forget the past, even if it was painful. Every relationship you have will always be a part of you. But holding onto past relationships—especially unhealthy ones— can keep you from moving forward with your life.
So, how can you finally move on once it’s over?
Keep these practical ideas in mind to finally set yourself free from your breakup.
Accept Your Feelings
Many times, people try to move on from a relationship by acting like they’ve got it all together. They ignore their true feelings and attempt to put up a wall to stay strong.
Those walls will eventually crumble. The result is a complex mess of your original pain with extra layers now piled on top as a result of your efforts to avoid that pain.
One of the best ways to move on once a relationship is over is to acknowledge and accept your feelings. If you were with your ex-partner for a long time, you probably have a lot of “baggage” to deal with.
Ignoring that baggage will make the entire process harder. Plus, it’ll take longer to truly get over that person.
Accepting your feelings can be hard. It requires you to be vulnerable with yourself, and maybe even with others. It’s often painful as well. However, it’s a crucial part of the healing process.
Understand You’re Not Alone
Once you understand and accept your feelings, it’s important to know that you don’t have to deal with them alone.
Sometimes, talking with your close friends, family, or even seeking out counseling can make a big difference in how you process those feelings.
You undoubtedly have people in your life who will be there to support you no matter what. Whether you’re looking for advice, a listening ear, or just someone who will be there for you at any time, don’t be afraid to turn to the people you love. You need to hear and feel their support now more than ever, when your insecurities seem to be all you can see.
Don’t Contact Your Ex
One of the reasons it’s so hard for people to move on is that they keep in contact with their ex. There may be some occasions where you need to talk to them. Maybe you have some of their belongings. Or, maybe you have joint bills, share children, own property together, etc.
But, you should reduce your contact with that person as much as possible. Resist the urge to fire back with quick texts or emails in the heat of the moment. If possible and practical, use neutral ground and another person as a go-between.
The sooner you distance yourself from them, the easier it will start to be to move on. It will make it easier to accept the ending of the relationship if you are not seeing and talking to them just as you were before.
Practice Forgiveness
Forgiveness is often the hardest thing to put into practice after a breakup.
Whether you ended things on good terms or not, you ended them for a reason. Whatever that reason may be, it’s vital to forgive your ex and yourself.
It can take a lot of time to forgive someone, and it’s not something that can be forced. You can’t just say “I forgive you” and move on. You actually have to follow through with those words, not just for your ex, but for yourself.
When you truly forgive that person, you’re actually freeing yourself from whatever they may have put you through. And when you forgive yourself you open the door to healing and recovery.
