The holidays are supposed to be a time filled with joy, laughter, and excitement. But, if you’re experiencing a loss around any holiday, it’s difficult to feel that kind of joy that those around you might be sharing.
Grief around the holidays isn’t uncommon. Maybe you recently lost someone you loved. Or, maybe you lost them years ago but you’re reminded of that every holiday season.
Grief doesn’t even need to be connected to the loss of a person. Thanks to the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic, people have been experiencing loss in many ways. Maybe you lost your job this year, or aren’t able to get together with your family because some of them are at a greater risk of getting sick.
Whatever the case, it’s important to know how to manage the things that trigger your grief around the holiday season. Additionally, you shouldn’t feel guilt over your own emotions or struggles.
With that in mind, let’s talk about how you can cope with your holiday grief and find some peace this season.
Understand the Grief Healing Process
Grief is a normal part of healing. It includes accepting what happened in order to work through it and eventually make room for a full range of life experiences again.
Without the process of grief, it’s more likely that you’ll remain stuck over your loss, which can be harmful to your emotional wellbeing. In an effort not to feel the pain of grief, you run the risk of becoming somewhat blunted to feeling all of your emotions, even positive ones. So, even if you don’t feel happy around the holidays, don’t feel guilty about your own process of grief. By this time next year, you may be in a completely different place with how you cope.
Avoid Unnecessary Triggers By Setting Boundaries
The holidays tend to be a busy time for everyone. Between family get-togethers, parties, and other obligations, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed.
During those overwhelming moments, you might feel that loss even more. Now isn’t the time to burn yourself out. That’s especially true if you’re committing to things out of obligation.
While you shouldn’t stay locked up inside all the time, don’t allow yourself to get overwhelmed with all of the happenings of the holidays, either. It’s important to give yourself space and time to rest. If a particular event brings up painful memories, you can decide to go and allow room for a bittersweet experience, or you may choose not to go this time. Again, give yourself time to get through your grief process before assuming things should be “back to normal”.
Develop New Holiday Traditions
While you will never forget the loss you experienced, it’s okay to honor that memory while creating new holiday traditions, as well. Starting something new can give you things to look forward to every year without having to deal with such painful memories.
Alternatively, you can alter traditions that have already been in place in such a way that isn’t as triggering. Some traditions can (and should) stay in place as a way to always remember what was lost. But, they shouldn’t remain there as a symbol of pain and suffering. So, don’t be afraid to mix the old with the new in a way that allows you to enjoy the holidays again.
Talk to Someone Who Can Help
If you’re still feeling overwhelmed with grief around the holidays, one of the best things you can do is to talk to a professional.
You shouldn’t feel guilty about your grief. Everyone knows you’re not trying to bring down the mood or “ruin” the holidays. But, one thing you can do is to focus on what’s in your control. You can learn to better manage your triggers and how to get through the grief process by talking with a therapist.
In doing so, you’ll be able to discover more of the underlying issues of your grief, and how to get through them. You will absolutely be able to enjoy the holidays again.
