Grief, no matter its cause, is painful in so many ways. Everyone perceives losses differently, but if you are grieving, it is essential to make room for it in your life.
Grief can come from a tremendous life change, such as the death of a loved one or a divorce. Less dramatic but still painful losses also need attention, such as being passed over for a job, losing a pet, or a close friend moving away.
Even positive life changes involve some element of grief – getting married means grieving your single life, having a baby means closing the chapter on couple-only time, etc. Sometimes you may be surprised that you feel some sadness or grief during times of positive change.
Taking care of yourself is so often the first thing to go when under any stress. But it’s during these times that carving out a way to support yourself becomes even more critical.
1. Physical Care
Sleep. Grief is exhausting. The mind and body need rest during this time. Let yourself sleep if you feel tired. However, be mindful not to let sleep become a way to avoid life excessively.
Exercise. Even a bit of activity can help boost feel-good endorphins. Fresh air and nature are also natural mood enhancers. Moving your body can help you focus on something other than what’s going on in your mind.
Nature. A daily dose of nature is shown to help with mood. Even if all you can do is stand on your back porch for a few minutes to look at the sky, it helps. Or perhaps you can take your lunch break at a park or outdoor seating area, enjoying the open space and trees.
Vitamins. New research has shown that high doses of magnesium glycinate, zinc, and selenium can shore up stress levels following natural disasters. Vitamins Bs and D are also known for helping with energy and immunity. During times of high stress, the body’s resources run short. Doing what you can to replenish them is very helpful.
Water. A hot shower, bath, or time in a bubbling hot tub provides impressive physical benefits. The warmth of the water helps the muscles and the mind relax. The heat and sensation of the water are wonderfully soothing.
2. While Grieving, Honor What Your Personality Needs
Find a way to do something you enjoy and makes you laugh or feel renewed. Although you may feel awkward laughing while also grieving, it is important to make room for a wide range of feelings, and not block them.
Spending time with positive friends is helpful when grieving. Along those lines, you could join a support group for similar benefits.
But if you find yourself needing more time alone than usual, it’s ok to honor that. If you’re introverted and socializing is exhausting, carve out time for quiet during your day.
However, even introverts find themselves needing more time with others when grieving. If that’s your case, reach out even if it’s uncomfortable.
3. Reduce Commitments
Yes, this can be much easier said than done. But given that grief can be so time-consuming and exhausting all on its own, finding a way to cut back on commitments and responsibilities can be very helpful.
This approach could also look like finding shortcuts for daily demands. Perhaps you could eat healthy frozen meals sometimes instead of cooking, or do a big Sunday meal prep session, so you don’t have to worry about it during the week.
Use drive-up-and-go or delivery services for grocery shopping to save yourself a frustrating hour trudging through crowds at the store. Letting some chores slip is also perfectly acceptable if it helps give you space for your grief.
4. Spiritual and Emotional Care
Incorporating even a small bit of mindfulness into your day is beneficial. Take a few minutes to sit quietly somewhere, close your eyes, and focus on your immediate physical sensations. Let your thoughts pass by without dwelling on them.
Keeping a gratitude list is another way to care for yourself spiritually and emotionally. When you take time to notice what is good in your life, your brain has a chance to focus on something positive. Your emotions will notice.
Learning how to challenge negative thoughts with positive self-talk will also help tremendously. Create positive affirmations about yourself and don’t hesitate to use them.
The length of your grieving process may be long or short, but finding time for self-care will help you no matter how long it is. Honor yourself and your needs during grief, and don’t be afraid to be a little selfish during this time. You are worth it.
5. You’re not alone in your grief.
The more you understand about grief and how it works, the more you will realize that your grieving process is unique to you. You’re not alone in how you feel. Please read more about grief or life transition counseling and contact me soon for a consultation.
