When you’ve committed your life to the gospel, stumbling over the problems of life can sometimes be hard to accept. But, it’s important to understand that we’re all human. It’s in our nature to make mistakes - again and again. But we often equate having a struggle with somehow lacking faith or not being righteous enough.
However, the truth is that as human beings, we make mistakes all the time, regardless of whether we are "being faithful." Although it may not seem like it, we all struggle in much the same way. Perhaps your relationship does not measure up to the image you think it should be, or parenting feels more like an episode of Survivor than Mary Poppins!
You might feel guilty about dealing with fear, depression, or anger, but there’s a good chance another member you know is struggling with the same thing right now. So, with that in mind, what can you do when you feel as though you’ve “messed up?”
The most important thing is to give yourself some grace and take a breath. Realize you’re not alone, and understand why it’s okay to not be so hard on yourself.
Admitting and Accepting Your Struggles
One of the best ways to alleviate some of the guilt you might be feeling is to acknowledge your mistake or difficulty. Accept them, admit them, and be willing to work through them.
It’s not uncommon for a a person of faith to feel guilty if they’re struggling with something like depression or anxiety. You might ask yourself why you’re dealing with a mood disorder if you have such strong faith. That train of thought can lead to even more problems if you let such thoughts go unchallenged. You may even start to isolate yourself from the church family because you feel as though you’re the only one with these problems.
Of course, that’s not true. That’s simply the way you feel.
The sooner you accept your struggles and natural and normal rather than an indication of a spiritual weakness or character flaw, the easier it will be to work through the difficulty without guilt or shame.
Your struggles are part of what makes you human and connect you to the family of worldwide church membership. Admitting your troubles is NOT a sign that you are less worthy of membership it is a reminder that you are not alone. You, instead have the opportunity to share with and comfort others.
Remember, church is not a museum of perfect people, but a hospital for the sinful (i.e. imperfect) and downtrodden (ALL of us!).
When you don’t feel like the only one, it’s easier to let go and give yourself a break, seek support, and practice loving acceptance of yourself and others.
Finding Comfort in Christian Counseling
As a member, you might be hesitant to seek out the help of a professional. Especially if you fear your mistake might reflect poorly on you. You might worry about how they will judge what you have to say. Or worse, you might feel seeking help or relief from a counselor betrays your faith and reliance on God.
But, an Christian counselor can help to provide support and clarity while getting to the sources of your struggles.
Perhaps your faith is at the center of what you’re dealing with. Or, you are experiencing struggles in other areas of your life. Either way, working through your struggles productively with a counselor, who understands the tenets of your faith, can help you find peace and relief.
A Respect of Spiritual Beliefs
It’s not always easy to admit when you are struggling spiritually. Or that you're faltering in other areas of life and questioning your faith.
Working with a counselor who can respect your spiritual beliefs without judgment can help you overcome feelings of confusion, guilt or shame effectively. Not only will it allow you to work through your choices but it can actually help strengthen your faith and keep you more focused on what matters most.
If you’re a member who is struggling and you’ve been hesitant to get help, feel free to contact me. I have years of experience in LDS counseling and am happy to walk with you no matter where you are on your journey.
Where can I seek help?
If you would like help in developing or implementing any of these ideas, please reach out to me.
I know how stressful and demanding it can be to make changes in your life, but you don’t have to figure it out on your own. Some of the benefits of individual therapy include:
- Having a safe, confidential space to work through life’s struggles
- Speaking openly with a highly-trained professional
- Learning to be curious about oneself and become more mindful about your choices
- Identifying relationship patterns that are helpful, or existing patterns that are interfering with your growth and wellbeing.
- I offer online therapy (video conference style of therapy), which provides increased level of comfort as you could meet with me from the privacy and comfort of your own home or other location.
Find out more about me at my website, subscribe to my Blog, Like and Follow me on Facebook, or Contact Me with an email at DrJT@CreativeSolutionsOnline.org. I’d love to hear from you!
You can request a specific appointment time that fits your schedule. Once confirmed, you can complete all New Patient Intake paperwork online as well.
*** The tips offered in this article are for general information and should not be considered medical or psychological advice. For more personalized recommendations appropriate to your individual situation, please contact us or obtain professional guidance.
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