When you’re dealing with depression, it’s easy to feel like you’re completely alone. Depression impacts everyone differently. While there are some common signs and symptoms, that doesn’t mean it is a “cookie-cutter” illness. 

So, it can be hard for friends and family members to truly understand what you’re going through when you’re depressed.

They might think you’re just making excuses when you don’t come to get-togethers or don’t want to do things. They might even think you’re overreacting or being dramatic about certain situations.

While that can be hurtful and even embarrassing, it’s important to recognize that more often than not, the people who love you truly mean well. But, when they don’t understand what you’re going through, they don’t know how to react.

So, what can you do to be proactive and help your loved ones understand your depression?

Don’t Be Afraid to Talk About Depression

Remember, the people you want to open up to about your depression are people who love and care about you. Sometimes, simply taking that first step forward and talking about it is the hardest hurdle you’ll have to jump over.

Even if you only scratch the surface of your feelings, don’t be afraid to share how your depression makes you feel with your family and friends.

Additionally, if they don’t “get it” right away, try again. Direct them to official resources like brochures from NIMH here. Use personal examples, and be willing to talk to them about situations as they happen. For example, if you’re feeling overwhelmed at a family event, tell them why.

The more the people who love you understand, the more grace they will be willing to give you. That can result in you working together to form solutions and help you to feel more comfortable.

Write Things Down

Sometimes, getting things out in the open verbally can be difficult. Journaling can help you to deal with your depression and manage your symptoms. But, you can also use writing as a way to communicate with your loved ones.

Writing down how you feel and what you want to say is often an easier way to get things out in the open. When you write everything down, you can make sure you’re not forgetting anything. You will also ensure that you’re saying things in the right tone, rather than feeling nervous or even embarrassed about what you’re saying. 

You could text, email, or give copies of your writing to your loved ones. Whatever the case, make sure that you’re providing them with as much insight into how you’re feeling as possible. Give them time to digest what you have shared.

Consider the following prompts as you try to explain how you feel:

• You may or may not know that I have not been feeling so great lately. I thought it was just stress, but it’s actually depression.
• When I am struggling with depression, it is hard for me to . . .
• It might seem like I am lazy, unmotivated, or don’t care about stuff, but for me, I feel . . . .
• The best way you can help is . . .
• If you aren’t sure about whether I am having a bad day, it’s okay to just ask me. I can’t always respond right away, but I will try to.

Focus On What You Can Do

Sometimes, it’s easier to help people understand what you’re going through by focusing on what you can do, instead of what you can’t. For example, offer to bring a dessert to the next family event if that’s something you enjoy. Or, offer to come early and set up.

Having a task or duty will help you to feel less overwhelmed and awkward. It will also show your loved ones that you want to be there and be involved, but you just might need to do it in your own way in order to better manage your mental health.

Remember, your loved ones are in your corner. They want to support you and understand what you’re going through. So, don’t be afraid to jump over those hurdles that are trying to hold you back. The more they understand, the more support you will have as you deal with your depression and keep moving forward.

If you’re struggling with depression and you haven’t been able to talk to your loved ones about it, you certainly aren’t alone. Talking to a mental health professional can be a great first step in opening up to others. The more you understand about your own depression, the easier it will be to help others understand as well. 

Contact Me

You’re certainly not alone if you’re dealing with depression. But, it doesn’t mean you need to continue to struggle. Contact me today for more information about managing your depression.