We are living in truly unusual times. Perhaps every generation has their life-defining moment, and the COVID-19 pandemic of 2020 is likely to impact us for a long time. But how can we find a balance between following guidelines and staying safe without submitting to constant panic and hysteria? You may be surprised to find that there can even be silver linings to this world-wide situation.
Connect More, Not Less
With many couples and families now spending much more time together at home, it can be an opportunity to connect or reconnect at a deeper level. We do not have as many competing factors for our attention, if we step back from watching news broadcasts and turn towards one another.
In fact, there is a great deal of research, primarily by Kelly McGonigal, about how high stress does not always lead to anxiety and/or aggression, but can drive us to "tend and befriend." From an evolutionary perspective, this is the "Mamma Bear" in all of us that motivates us to protect the people we love and reach out to our friends to give/receive support. She found this tendency more frequently in women, who would seek out affiliation and opportunities to nurture each other during times of stress, but it is part of human nature as a whole.
(Read more here to learn about this "tend and befriend" process is based in brain biology to reduce fear and increase hope and connections.
Keeping this in mind, consider how you responded to this pandemic. Whether you were stockpiling toilet paper and canned goods, or downloading apps like Marco Polo to stay in touch with your family and friends, or collaborating with coworkers to determine if there were work-from-home options, each of these acts focused on taking care of more than just yourself. It involved your tribe or community, no matter how small or large that circle may be.
Even the most comfortable introvert-couch-bum (ahem, . . . me) still needs to have active connections with others. Extroverts and social butterflies will likely have a much harder time staying in without feeling isolated. You will likely benefit from phone calls, FaceTime, Skype, and Marco Polo or other live online connections. After all, human being are social animals and we need to feel a sense of belonging with others.
Gratitude and Rediscovering the "Basics"
In addition to connecting more with family and friends, we have an opportunity to step back from the fray of "normal" life and examine how and where we invest our energy.
We can be grateful for less on our to-do list. Grateful for less sleep-deprivation due to long work hours. We can embrace not being so busy.
Perhaps we rediscover old hobbies and interests, or consider trying new ones. My family has certainly done more binge-watching tv. But we have also done more baking, played more card and board games and done more hiking in the past 10 days than ever!
Maybe we go for more walks and talk more deeply with our friends and family. Or we catch up on house chores that we never get around to.
As we see and hear of how other towns and countries are affected, we may be motivated to donate or send support. We may seek a deeper spiritual connection to help us make sense of the situation.
Everyday Heroes - See Them, Be One
Although this is definitely a high-anxiety time, it can also shift our perspective to be grateful for the heroes all around us:
- Medical staff and first responders that go towards danger every day to contain risks and care for the sick.
- Administrative staff and leaders who work to find creative solutions to decrease the levels of disruption to our lives
- Grocery food industry and supply chain workers putting in overtime to deliver needed goods and services
- Spiritual leaders who provide messages of hope and encouragement
- News outlets who keep up informed in a responsible way (but I do recommend limiting new watching drastically each day).
- Family & Friends (and even strangers) who reach out in ways that do not violate social distancing recommendations.
- Utility companies, mail service workers, trash/recycling services, etc that keep life humming along in the background. What a difference it would be without them.
Maintain a Routine
Human beings all perform better when life is predictable. Part of our increased anxiety is how much our routines have been disrupted. Right now, almost everything feels temporary, as we wait for news and ever-changing guidelines.
Sleep schedules are likely to be much more flexible as we don't have the same work and school requirements. This can be a good thing temporarily to sleep in a bit. But in the long term, it will be helpful to maintain a relatively regular routine. Continue regular meal times and exercise, and if you take any medication, make sure you stay on schedule with this.
Some of us are more sensitive to changes in sleep and routine that others. This is especially important if you have migraines, seizures, chronic pain/illness, anxiety, depression, bipolar, or other condition. You may be surprised at how much keeping a predictable and stable routine can impact your well-being.
Nevertheless, everyone does better with a routine, even if it requires some flexibility. Rigidity is not the goal here, just some daily habits that give us a reliable foundation to build upon.
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To my "introvert-couch-potatoe" daughter. It must be genetic and inheriied along the paternal line. Hmmmmm... you sure still do a lot and get much good done.
Your monthly blog articles are truly needed and a blessing and help to all who read them.
Dad