Adjusting to a big life change is never easy, no matter how old you are. Whether you are finishing a degree, starting a new job, having a baby, facing a divorce, preparing to retire, or other major life change or transition, you are likely feeling pretty overwhelmed.

Some life changes are sudden and happen to us with very little warning, like loss of job, breakup of a relationship, or death of a loved one. We expect to be a bit rattled at these times. However, even positive life changes, that we initiate (like getting married, accepting a job promotion, etc) can be just as challenging.

Regardless of the type or content of your particular life change, the following tips can help you maintain a solid foundation when it feels like your entire world is shifting around you.

1. Plan and Organize

If the upcoming change is one that you author, then you have more opportunity to plan and prepare some details. Having some level of control helps you feel empowered!

For example, if you are moving, plan your budget and timeline for each step. What will you sell, what will you bring with you to your new address? Perhaps sketch out your new floor plan on grid paper to get a feel for it ahead of time. Organize yourself with a checklist, and keep it handy so that your mind doesn’t keep rehearsing the same scenarios over and over.

But what if the change happened TO you, without your input? Well, you can still have some planning and organizing related to how you will respond. For example, did your boss just inform you that you are out of a job? After the initial shock, you can organize some basic steps of looking for alternative employment, talking to your professional network and connections, perhaps get advice on reworking your resume or retooling with new skills.

You can’t do it all at once, no matter how urgent it feels. Take time to slow down and plan a response, rather than react in the intensity of the crisis (blow up at boss, go get drunk, start a hate campaign on social media, or refuse to leave the house because you feel embarrassed). This will only make things worse for yourself.

2. Allow All Feelings Related to the Change, while Focusing on the Positive

You may be surprised at the wide range of feelings you may have in reaction to this life change. Give yourself permission to acknowledge and feel them all, while not letting the emotion dictate your choices.

Common feelings to change include grief (in order for any new beginning, there has to be an ending to what has been). In your excitement about a positive change, like getting married, you may be surprised to also feeling some sadness and grief of the perceived loss of freedom and independence of being single. Similarly, the birth of a child is cause for celebration, but also marks the end of couple-hood into a bigger family unit.

The more you try to ignore or stuff down a feeling, it is likely to come back and catch you off guard. So try to allow all feelings to be acknowledged.

Then, focus on any and all positive elements to this change. Even painful changes that you did not ask for can hold beautiful opportunities to grow and move in a new direction that otherwise would not have been possible.

3. Savor THIS Chapter

If there is some time before the life change happens, pause for a moment. Before rushing off to your next adventure, take time to savor and cherish what is special and unique about your current situation. The new job, house, or next relationship is very exciting, but you don’t want to look back with regret that you didn’t live THIS moment to the fullest.

Every situation has both valid advantages and disadvantages. You do not have to start hating your current position in order to fully enjoy what it to come.

4. Stay Connected

Regardless of everything that may be changing around you, stay connected to the people and activities that matter to you. Because this change can be stressful and all-consuming, you may have to purposefully schedule lunch with friends. Or give yourself a reminder to email your former colleagues to stay in touch.

5. Don’t Let Your Self-Care Slip

When stressed, one of the first things that happens is that we become very focused on the “problem” at hand. We tend to quit taking good care of ourselves. Somehow it feels like it can wait until later once the crisis has been dealt with.

However, this usually makes things worse in the long run. Make sure that you are maintaining good self care. This includes a good sleep schedule, healthy eating, regular moderate exercise, and continue hanging out with friends and engaging in your hobbies. If you weren’t so diligent with those things before the change, now is a great time to brush up on your self care so that you will not feel as depleted.