Coping with Conflict at Home During Shelter in Place

When you feel cooped up or you’re home with too many people at once, it can increase the risk of conflict.

There is no doubt that the COVID-19 pandemic has changed almost everyone’s lives in some way. At one point, nearly 95% of the country was under some kind of lockdown or shelter-in-place order.

While some states are slowly starting to reopen, many others are still being encouraged to stay safe at home.

So, how can you cope with these familial conflicts and keep your relationships strong and healthy?

Understanding the Root Causes

There are plenty of reasons why conflicts can arise during times of uncertainty. The conflict is like the visible part of an iceberg - we can only see a small portion of what is really going on. Try to compassionately look a bit deeper at what is below the surface.

Keep in mind that stress levels are high right now. Things that might not have triggered you before could cause “reflexive biting” right now, simply because you’re on edge. (Reflexive biting is a term used to describe how lab rats bite each other if too many are kept in the same cage).

Sharing a small space with someone can increase the risk of conflict. People need their own space and time apart, and the ability to do the things they enjoy on their own. If you’ve heard the phrase “too many cooks in the kitchen,” that can apply to everyday life when you’re ‘forced’ to spend every waking minute with the same people.

Unfortunately, sharing a small space also increases the risk of emotional, mental, or even physical abuse in a familial or romantic relationship.

Finally, people can become easily irritable when their routine has been changed. Most people are creatures of habit. We thrive on routine. When that routine gets upset in any way, it can cause extra stress and tension within a home.

So, what can you do to cope with conflict at home?

Take Care of Yourself

One of the best things you can do to keep yourself from lashing out or causing unnecessary conflict is to take care of yourself.

Self-care is a term that seems to get thrown around a lot. But, it’s so much more than just a buzz word. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and you can’t take care of the needs of others (including their emotional needs) when you’re drained.

So, do what you can to take care of yourself. That might mean taking a 30-minute walk every day or meditating each morning. Try to find ways to do things you enjoy, even when you have to stay at home. Separate yourself from others for a period of time each day and reflect on how you’re feeling. Read more here if you need ideas for more self-care strategies.

Reaching Out for Help

Another way to cope with conflict is to reach out to others for help. Understand that you’re not alone in how you’re feeling. Some people can handle times of uncertainty and stress better than others.

If you’re having a hard time coping, utilize whatever resources you can find. In some cases, that might mean talking to your family or friends for support. Sometimes, simply saying how you’re feeling can help you to feel better and release some of the tension.

But, if you’re really struggling with how to control conflict, it can help to reach out to a professional counselor. Again, these are uncertain times, and you shouldn’t have to keep your emotions bottled up just because you’re worried you might snap at someone you care about. At the same time, no one wants to struggle with conflict every day.

Contact Me

So, feel free to contact me if conflict has become a problem for you. Together, we can get to the root of the issue(s), and learn about healthier ways to cope with conflict. Remember, this pandemic won’t last forever. Eventually, life will return to normal – or, a new normal. In the meantime, staying as focused on a sense of normalcy as possible and learning how to deal with these challenges is the best way to get through this.

I know how stressful and demanding it can be to make changes in your life, but you don’t have to figure it out on your own. Some of the benefits of individual therapy include:

Having a safe, confidential space to work through life’s struggles
Speaking openly with a highly-trained professional
Learning to be curious about oneself and become more mindful about your choices
Identifying relationship patterns that are helpful, or existing patterns that are interfering with your growth and wellbeing.
I offer online therapy (video conference style of therapy), which provides an increased level of comfort as you could meet with me from the privacy and comfort of your own home or other location.

Book Appointment with Anthony Tzoumas

Book Appointment with Jennifer Tzoumas

You can request a specific appointment time that fits your schedule. Once confirmed, you can complete all New Patient Intake paperwork online as well.

*** The tips offered in this article are for general information and should not be considered medical or psychological advice. For more personalized recommendations appropriate to your individual situation, please contact us or obtain professional guidance.

4 Tips for Finding Peace During COVID-19 Pandemic

Life After COVID-19 - the New Normal?

6 Tips for Coping with Uncertainty

Disagree without Being Disagreeable

What to Do When Faith isn't Enough to Prevent Suffering

Social Media and Mental Health