Has Your Chronic Illness Overshadowed Your Life?

• Do you spend a great deal of time and energy focused on your physical health due to a chronic illness?
• Have you lost touch with your friends and social activities because you are so busy with medical appointments?
• Do you feel like you have lost your sense of identity?
• Do you feel like just a “patient” and wonder how to be whole again?
• Is it difficult to accept the new constraints you have (changes in energy levels, dietary and activity restrictions, etc)?
• Are you so tired and drained that you struggle to get through the day?
• Has chronic pain become a barrier in living the life you want?
• Are you wondering if you can still have a good life if you can’t get rid of the pain or illness?
• If you have had surgery, are you having a hard time adjusting to the changes in your body?
• Do you feel confused when trying to explain your experience to others, who expect that you should “feel better” by now?

Chronic illness takes many forms, but it always feels like a heavy burden. Perhaps you have been recently diagnosed with cancer, chronic migraines, diabetes, an autoimmune disorder (Sjogrens, MS, Lupus, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome), or a chronic pain syndrome. You feel overwhelmed at the idea that this might not ever go away. You wonder how you will function? Will you be able to fulfill your roles at work and in your family? Can you still achieve your hopes and dreams?

Although you may feel alone in your struggle with a chronic illness, consider the following statistics:

• NIH estimates here that up to 23.5 million Americans have an autoimmune disorder. In comparison, cancer affects up to 9 million and heart disease up to 22 million.
• According to CDC report, approximately 20 percent of U.S. adults had chronic pain and 8 percent had high-impact chronic pain—meaning pain that limited at least one major life activity. Chronic pain has been linked to restricted mobility, anxiety, depression, and reduced quality of life.
• Although there is not a clear consensus on how to diagnose Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, the CDC stated here that there are currently more than one million people in the United States with the condition.
• More than 100 million U.S. adults are now living with diabetes or pre-diabetes, according to this 2017 report

The good news is that with the help of an experienced and compassionate therapist, you can learn to cope with your chronic illness while having a meaningful and satisfying life.

Therapy for Chronic Illness Looks at the Whole Picture

Your therapy experience will be unique to your circumstances, and based on what you want to achieve. I often help people learn to advocate for themselves. You probably have more than one doctor or specialist that treats you. You will benefit from assertively speaking up to your medical providers and coordinating services rather than “being a good patient” and staying quiet when your needs are not getting met.

A significant part of therapy will be learning to set appropriate expectations for yourself. Receiving a diagnosis of a serious or chronic illness is a big deal. It is unreasonable to expect that you will think, feel, and act the way you did before the diagnosis. In addition, you will likely need to set boundaries with others around what they can expect from you.

It may be awkward and unfamiliar territory to learn to ask for help and support. You may be used to helping others and can learn to be on the receiving end. Living with a chronic illness means that your priorities are shifting. Now, self-care is a mandatory activity, not just a luxury to consider when you get around to it. You will have to plan down time to recharge, as your stamina lags behind what you are used to. Additionally, this chronic illness can be the turning point in giving you an opportunity to redefine your sense of self and goals for this new chapter of life.

I have worked with individuals for over 20 years who have experiences with cancer, chronic pain, diabetes, Sjogrens, Chronic Fatigue, migraines, and other chronic illnesses. Personally, I have struggled with chronic daily migraines and other chronic pain conditions. I know first hand the struggle to be the wife, mother, and therapist I wanted to be while managing unpredictable pain. I can offer you true empathy and a supportive environment to learn how to cope in your present life, while defining how to move forward.

But you may still have questions about Therapy for Chronic Illness

Will you tell me to just push through, or get over it? Isn’t that what coping is?

 No. I imagine you have already been telling yourself this and it hasn’t helped much anyway. Coping is accepting reality when we cannot currently change it. It is also reducing the idea that life is “horrible or unbearable’ if it does not change. It is about building internal resources to better buffer the stresses and strains in life, and perhaps even find a renewed sense of purpose and meaning.

Will you tell me that it is “all in my head?”

 This is a common fear. You may have received this type of message from your medical providers when they no longer had any traditional treatments to offer you. If you were referred to counseling by a medical provider, it may have felt like they were accusing you of being a hypochondriac. This is NOT my perspective. Although having a chronic illness can be very stressful, I will not be telling you that all of your physical symptoms are due to “stress.”

 Stress management is in important part of the counseling approach, as poorly managed stress makes everything worse, including a chronic illness. But the validity of your experiences are not under attack

You are More Than Your Chronic Illness

Your chronic illness is a big part of your life experience, but it does not have to define you.