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Choosing to be Grateful: Finding the Positive Amid Negativity & Conflict

Choosing Gratitude

We’re living in uncertain times. Our world often seems dark, dangerous, and difficult. Needless to say, it’s not always easy choose to be grateful and to find the positive amid negativity and conflict. 

But, gratitude can go a long way. There are still plenty of good things to appreciate in this world, and choosing to focus on those things can make a big difference in how you feel. It can also impact your outlook on life, and even rub off on others. 

Still, that might sound easier said than done. So, how can you choose to be grateful? How can you practice intentional appreciation every day? 

Make a List Every Day

Journal a List of things you are grateful for.

It might sound a little cliche to make a list of the things you’re grateful for. But, it can really help. There are also several ways to do it. 

A great way to start your day is by listing ten things you’re grateful for. It will put you in a positive mindset, and you can remind yourself of those things throughout the day. 

Alternatively, try carrying a small notebook or journal around with you. Whenever a moment of gratitude strikes, jot it down. The great thing about this practice is that you can look back on things you’ve been grateful for in the past. So, when you’re having a particularly hard day and it’s not easy to find the positive, you will have a whole book at your fingertips that can help. 

Ask Others What They’re Grateful For

Everyone has played the game at Thanksgiving where you go around the table and each person shares what they’re thankful for. 

That doesn’t have to be reserved for one day a year. 

Ask the people in your life what they’re thankful for on a regular basis, especially when you’re feeling down or stuck in a negative cycle. Not only will their positivity help you, but your question might make help them to focus on better things, too. It can brighten their day and help them to be more grateful on a regular basis. 

End Your Day on a Positive Note

Choosing to be grateful helps improve sleep.

Just as you can start your day with things you’re grateful for, it’s also a wonderful way to relax your mind and body at night. 

Every day is different, so be very specific with your appreciation before you climb into bed. As a part of your nighttime routine, say three good things aloud that happened to you that day. 

Keep in mind that you can (and should) choose to thank yourself, too. What did you do today that benefitted your mental, physical, or emotional health? How are you taking care of your well-being? Be grateful for the way you’re practicing self-care and making your health a priority. 

Be Mindful in Happy Moments

It’s not uncommon, as humans, to focus on the negative moments in our lives. We are hard-wired to notice cues of "threats" more than cues of safety. These negative thoughts try to take over our thoughts and cause us to dwell on them. 

Try doing that with happy, positive moments, instead. 

The next time something particularly positive comes up in your life, pause and reflect at the moment it’s happening. SAVOR it! Be mindful of how you feel, your surroundings, and what exactly is causing that moment to make you so happy. 

Perhaps keep an album on your phone of your favorite people, places, things, and activities that bring you peace and joy. Take time to review these moments to solidify them in your mind.

Mindfulness is a great tool for alleviating stress and helping you to relax, but it can also improve your focus and open your mind to see more positive things on a daily basis. 

While life is difficult and it’s not always easy to see the bright side, there is always something to be grateful for. The more you start to recognize the positive things in your life, the more gratitude you can cultivate

Contact Me

If you’d like to learn more or you’re looking for more strategies for tapping into gratitude, feel free to contact me to set up an appointment.

I know how stressful and demanding it can be to make changes in your life, but you don’t have to figure it out on your own.   Some of the benefits of individual therapy include:

  • Having a safe, confidential space to work through life’s struggles
  • Speaking openly with a highly-trained professional
  • Learning to be curious about oneself and become more mindful about your choices
  • Identifying relationship patterns that are helpful, or existing patterns that are interfering with your growth and wellbeing.
  • I offer online therapy (video conference style of therapy), which provides increased level of comfort as you could meet with me from the privacy and comfort of your own home or other location.

You can request a specific appointment time that fits your schedule. Once confirmed, you can complete all New Patient Intake paperwork online as well.

*** The tips offered in this article are for general information and should not be considered medical or psychological advice. For more personalized recommendations appropriate to your individual situation, please contact us or obtain professional guidance.


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About Jennifer Tzoumas

I hold active licenses for independent practice in Texas and Pennsylvania, and an Authority to Practice Interjurisdictional Telepsychology (APIT) granted from the PSYPACT Commission, that allows for independent practice in approximately 30 of the 50 United States (check https://www.verifypsypact.org/ to see if your state participates). I have been married for 25 years, and have two teenage daughters. Although I enjoy social gatherings in small doses, I am more of an introvert (I prefer working one-on-one, or in small groups). Outside the office, I consider myself an avid reader, recreational runner/weight lifter, and part-time gardener. I am active in my church and enjoy watching my daughters in their activities (dance, TaeKwonDo, and marching band).

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