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How To Cope When A Diagnosis of Cancer Changes Everything

Hearing the words “you have cancer” can make it seem as though your whole life has come to a screeching halt. Those words confirming a cancer diagnosis affect you and the people who love you profoundly.

Instantly, you are faced with challenges and decisions that no one wants to make.

While a cancer diagnosis can be different for everyone, there’s no denying that it changes things, no matter the stage or severity of your illness.

So, how can you cope with this news?  What will allow you to keep living your life and help you find the strength to move forward?

Don’t Be Afraid to Talk About It

Many people who receive a cancer diagnosis immediately decide that they need to be strong and push forward.

Of course,  having a strong positive mentality is an asset in facing any difficult challenge in life. But, that doesn’t mean you have to pretend a cancer diagnosis isn’t scary. Keeping your feelings, worries, and fears inside will only make things harder for you in the long run. Instead, try to express those feelings to the people who care about you. Accept support. Talk about your fears, especially if you’re uncertain about what is going to happen.

Sometimes, something as simple as getting those feelings off your chest can make it easier to cope with the overwhelming weight of such a difficult diagnosis. If you do not want to talk openly with friends and family, consider a support group (both in person or online) as a way to connect with others and feel less alone.

Be Positive, But Don’t Fake It

Having a positive attitude is a great way to get through a cancer diagnosis and treatment. Even looking for the positive in a seemingly hopeless situation can make it easier to cope with. Ironically, the intensity of a medical crisis can sharply bring into focus all the things we value and hold dear, increasing our appreciation for them.

With that being said, don’t feel like you have to be positive or happy all the time. Give your feelings some latitude. Tell the people in your life if you’re just not as upbeat as you want to be at any given time. Remember, it is not your job to take care of everyone else's feelings or pretend you are feeling better than you really are.

Sometimes, that might mean missing out on an event because you’re just not excited about it. Other times, you might want to rest in bed while your family is eating dinner because you’re feeling down. Don’t feel pressured into being happy or available all the time.

Stay Relaxed With Things You Enjoy

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Taking care of yourself in any way possible will make you feel better, stronger, and more positive. Getting a cancer diagnosis is stressful, no matter what. So, take care of yourself by finding different ways to relax. Self-care is not a luxury to be put off until later, but is a mandatory part of your overall treatment!

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This can include meditation, light exercise, or even discovering a new hobby. Dive into things you actually enjoy doing. They will provide a nice distraction, help you to feel more productive, and will reduce your stress levels. Doing things like this will help take your mind away from cancer, even if it’s only for a little while. It also helps you remember that you can and should live life fully at each stage of treatment and recovery.

Focus On What Is In Your Control

When you receive a cancer diagnosis, it’s easy to feel like everything is spiraling out of control. So, focus on the things you do have control and influence over. Stay as organized as possible. Remain actively involved with your treatment. Talk to your doctors regularly. Prioritize your tasks and budget your energy accordingly.

Remember to balance your perspective and intentionally focus on the non-medical areas of your life too. There is more to you than this cancer diagnosis, and that's easy to forget some days. The more you can keep a balanced perspective, the easier it will be to cope with your diagnosis.

Reach Out

If you or someone you love recently received a cancer diagnosis and you are struggling to accept it, please reach out. Contact me to talk about how you’re feeling, and learn how to process the changes taking place in your life and relationships. I can help you find healthy, productive ways of coping with this life-changing diagnosis.

You don’t have to go through any of it alone.  Some of the benefits of individual therapy include:

  • Having a safe, confidential space to work through life’s struggles
  • Speaking openly with a highly-trained professional
  • Learning to be curious about oneself and become more mindful about your choices
  • Identifying relationship patterns that are helpful, or existing patterns that are interfering with your growth and well-being.
  • I offer online therapy (video conference style of therapy), which provides increased level of comfort as you could meet with me from the privacy and comfort of your own home or other location.

You can request a specific appointment time that fits your schedule. Once confirmed, you can complete all New Patient Intake paperwork online as well.

*** The tips offered in this article are for general information and should not be considered medical or psychological advice. For more personalized recommendations appropriate to your individual situation, please contact us or obtain professional guidance.


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About Jennifer Tzoumas

I hold active licenses for independent practice in Texas and Pennsylvania, and an Authority to Practice Interjurisdictional Telepsychology (APIT) granted from the PSYPACT Commission, that allows for independent practice in approximately 30 of the 50 United States (check https://www.verifypsypact.org/ to see if your state participates). I have been married for 25 years, and have two teenage daughters. Although I enjoy social gatherings in small doses, I am more of an introvert (I prefer working one-on-one, or in small groups). Outside the office, I consider myself an avid reader, recreational runner/weight lifter, and part-time gardener. I am active in my church and enjoy watching my daughters in their activities (dance, TaeKwonDo, and marching band).

4 thoughts on “How To Cope When A Diagnosis of Cancer Changes Everything

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