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Are You Socially Anxious, or Just Naturally Introverted?

woman reading book

Do you prefer staying home at night instead of going out to a loud, crowded restaurant? Would you prefer to curl up and watch a good movie or read a book rather than experience the overstimulation of a bar or club?

In today’s world, those preferences might make you feel as though something is wrong with you. Maybe your friends have suggested you need to get out more. Or, maybe you find yourself scrolling on Instagram and, upon seeing everyone’s busy lives, wonder why you don’t enjoy the same things. 

If you’re naturally-introverted, you might start to think that it’s a problem that needs to be fixed. That’s not the case! 

Introversion is completely normal and there shouldn’t be a stigma against it. Let’s look at some of the strengths and weaknesses of being naturally-introverted, and how you can tell the difference from social anxiety. 

Signs You’re an Introvert

So, how can you tell if you’re actually an introvert? The ‘signs’ are different for everyone, but there are some common themes, including: 

  • You prefer spending most of your time alone or with a small circle of people
  • Your best thinking happens when you’re alone
  • You don’t like being the center of attention
  • You feel lonely, or overstimulated, in a crowd
  • Socializing too much leaves you feeling drained

It’s important to understand that just because these are signs of introverted people, they’re not “symptoms.” Again, being introverted isn’t a problem. But, understanding some of the common signs can help you to confirm that you don’t have social anxiety. 

What Are the Strengths and Weaknesses of Introverted People?

Every style has advantages and disadvantages. Introverts as a group, tend to be quite creative and spend a lot of time in deep thoughts. They also tend to be great listeners. 

Introverts know how to prepare and are usually organized, and it’s easier for them to focus on what needs to be done. They work great "behind the scenes" doing work that doesn't draw a lot of attention or recognition.

Perhaps the biggest “weakness” of introverted people is that they usually are more quiet and reserved, or may not excel at small talk. In relationships and even in the working world, those characteristics can sometimes come across as cold or uncaring, even when that isn’t the case. 

It’s important for introverted people to take advantage of their strengths in life and at work. The more you’re able to do that, the more you can prove to the world that introverts have just as much to offer without having to constantly be in the spotlight or participate in big social gatherings. 

Are You Socially Anxious? 

There are several key differences between being an introvert and being socially anxious. Social anxiety is a fear of being in social settings (of any size) or experiencing symptoms of fear while you’re already out. Some of the common symptoms include: 

  • Rapid heartbeat
  • Sweating
  • Shaking
  • Nausea
  • Dizziness
  • Fear of harsh criticism and rejection from others in the social setting (even if they are your friends).

As you can see, the signs of social anxiety are much different than simply being an introverted individual. As an introvert, you may also have some social anxiety if your job or lifestyle requires you to be in the spotlight or make public presentations. However, you can be an introvert and play to your strengths, making sure you build in lots of quiet downtime after a social event.

You don’t have to let societal pressures trick you into thinking being introverted is a problem. If you prefer staying in or being by yourself, embrace those characteristics, rather than trying to change who you are for the benefit of others. 

If you feel that you have social anxiety, therapy and counseling can help you to work through your fears and manage your symptoms. Anxiety can be treated, and social settings don’t always have to feel so overwhelming and scary. 

Feel free to contact me about more information on social anxiety, or if you’re feeling pressured to be more extroverted and you’re not sure how it makes you feel. 


Contact Me

I know how stressful and demanding it can be to make changes in your life, but you don’t have to figure it out on your own.   Some of the benefits of individual therapy include:

  • Having a safe, confidential space to work through life’s struggles
  • Speaking openly with a highly-trained professional
  • Learning to be curious about oneself and become more mindful about your choices
  • Identifying relationship patterns that are helpful, or existing patterns that are interfering with your growth and wellbeing.
  • I offer online therapy (video conference style of therapy), which provides an increased level of comfort as you could meet with me from the privacy and comfort of your own home or other location.

You can request a specific appointment time that fits your schedule. Once confirmed, you can complete all New Patient Intake paperwork online as well.

*** The tips offered in this article are for general information and should not be considered medical or psychological advice. For more personalized recommendations appropriate to your individual situation, please contact us or obtain professional guidance.


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Published on Categories Anxiety, General Info/Awareness

About Jennifer Tzoumas

I hold active licenses for independent practice in Texas and Pennsylvania, and an Authority to Practice Interjurisdictional Telepsychology (APIT) granted from the PSYPACT Commission, that allows for independent practice in approximately 30 of the 50 United States (check https://www.verifypsypact.org/ to see if your state participates). I have been married for 25 years, and have two teenage daughters. Although I enjoy social gatherings in small doses, I am more of an introvert (I prefer working one-on-one, or in small groups). Outside the office, I consider myself an avid reader, recreational runner/weight lifter, and part-time gardener. I am active in my church and enjoy watching my daughters in their activities (dance, TaeKwonDo, and marching band).

3 thoughts on “Are You Socially Anxious, or Just Naturally Introverted?

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